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Studied International Law at University of Oklahma Law School

Lives in Spring, Texas

05/26/2015 3:45am

Hi Barbara, I'm glad we are friends, I noticed we both liked John Rogers. I'm an entertainment lawyer in the Houston area and wanted to share with you that your a beautiful woman. I hope all is well with you and your life at this time, I think it is amazing that you studied art.

I study art on my own; mostly medieval... from about 100 BC, to learn more about the early church & ancestors. All is not well with my family. The state has taken 3 of my grand~children from my daughter & has them in a 'temporary' foster home. I raised them, mostly. Perhaps I should have taken them from her, legally. I have become a recluse; but, I am trying to gather the courage to do crowd~funding & to go out into society. I intend to manufacture my organic super~food therapeutic [great for fighting cancer & diabetes, & more] formulas into frozen confections. I have sourced every ingredient. I want to help save rain~forests. I am Desposyni in my ancestral lines. I'm unemployed, but have a couple of online stores with affiliate links. They are not making money since I do not advertise. I'm still 'playing store'. Thanks for the invitation. It is nice to meet you. I'm an insomniac, too.

Who is John rogers? I'd like to see who you refer to.

If you need someone to talk to about a problem; I might be able to help, depending on the nature of it. I noticed that something troubles you sometimes, or did, previously.

Do you mean the Bible translator from the 16th century?

05/26/2015 5:30am

No I'm not referring to King James 1611, you must have pressed a like button on this John Rogers fellow, it reflected you liked him. I had never heard of him until I watched a documentary on his yesterday. 95% of my life reflects a very social and integrated person, I started my career as a prosecutor then was a judge followed by many years of private practice, I'm quasi retired and burned out on practicing law. I used to teach literature at Oklahoma University and have been offered a job doing the same at a local college. However, there were some unforeseen events that occurred a few years back that was almost too much, I think that my spirit or psyche was effected, anyway I have become somewhat of a recluse myself. Sometimes I never answer the phone, return emails and just seem to have lost all passion for life. It is not a matter of self loathing or thinking that my life has not been blessed, I think it is more a matter of going through a dark night of the soul and struggling to pull myself out the other side. So I understand exactly how and why you might have a propensity for isolating yourself, unless you have gone through something so egregious or shocks the conscious it is difficult to explain. I think you somehow understand. Barbara I do appreciate you writing back, your my friend and feel free to share with me. God's Peace! Bobby

05/26/2015 7:52am

Sorry for the delay; & I should really apologize to the founder of Kenosis Foundation, since I should be working on the English editing of his work in India. It's a volunteer position & he consults with me on various things. I thought you might be referring to the John Rogers who completed William Tyndale's English version of the Bible & Apocrypha... mainly 1530's. But all the King James's are my ancestors, including the King Regent #VI & even the usurper King, #VI. Your career has likely taken a toll on your soul. You certainly needed time for reflection & redirection. Oops; hard not to write in rhyme; it's been such a long time since I wrote much poetry. I have been through some repressive long~term situations & some abuse. I've not been in relationship with a man in years. I have self~diagnosed PTSD & possibly slight narcissism. I am kind & just, however, with those near me; & with strangers. I was just now reading a history of the Cherokee; desperately seeking my "brick wall ancestors". I think I finally found them. My daughter says if we join a sovereign recognized Native American nation, she can get the children returned; as they would be under different jurisdiction. They were removed mainly because her homestead had a composting toilet & no running water. It seemed a good idea when Ebola was in Dallas... to be away from the city. It will cost a lot of money to install water systems & meter on the rocky property. The girls are 13, 8, & the baby almost 5. They have 3 different fathers. My other daughter has a 5 yr old son. I also have a grown son. Do you adhere to a political party?

05/27/2015 12:29am

Sounds like you have a lot of things your interested in but have had some similar issues as I, I did retire from practicing law and I'm so tired of it. I'm just now getting over the flu and bronchitis so I am a little weak and will write you more tomorrow. It is good to hear from you Barbara. Love Bobby

11/18/2015 3:38pm

You are a very precious woman and soul, your photos reflect that you exude loving kindness Barbara, your limited presence in my life bring much greater texture and color to life. Bobby

11/18/2015 5:04pm

Hi; thank you for the appreciation. Why are you so sad? Did you lose a friend? Are you losing weight?

I will survive, my life has been blessed, it just seemed that I lost all of life's substantive and meaningful thinks at one time. It took a toll on my physiology, although I've always been strong and healthy but my kidneys started shutting down and the doctors can't figure it out, now they think I have cancer in my right kidney. Tired of all the test as there isn't anything wrong with me. Giving of yourself brings peace but living in an atmosphere where there is a total absence of love and your estate is being robbed is not the best moment in life. I think I ate far too many paint chips as a kid

Who's cheating you,; family? How long have you had symptoms? It sounds like you need an overhaul. Don't give up. You can enjoy simple things again, It's a matter of perspective. Do you drink alcohol regularly?

Are you in denial about the kidney or do you have reason to believe it is a lie? They're not sure? Start eating broccoli sprouts. Could it be infection? Then start taking Phytocillin by Herbs Etc. That could help, even if it isn't. Do you drink tap water? I'd like to help. It's easier to know what to tell you if I can figure out how it got that way. Pardon the clinical tone, just being practical. If ot isn't too advanced it can be healed. It's even possible with an advanced problem.

If yo have taken a lot of antibiotics, you will need prebiotics & probiotics. That combination is called synbiotics. Shake off depression. Find music on Youtube that makes you feel better.

There are lots of natural foods & food~based supplements to fight cancer.

Barbara how did you acquire all this knowledge?

I have been studying a very long time.

Yes I can tell

Barbara just call me, I'm not good at texting

I worked in health food store restaurants & ashrams preparing natural foods. Then I took 2 courses in nutrition at U of Houston. I heard about 'new paradigm medicine & have studied it ever since.

We share an affinity

With respect to optimizing health

Yes; I can tell by reading your note from last year.

You live in Houston?

I live in Austin. There's a doctor near Houston you may want to talk to. He has the Global Healing Center. I'll grab a few links for you.

Global Healing Center

Learn more about Global Healing Center by visiting

Barbara if you have a few moments why don't you call me at 832-246-9753

Hang on. My son is using the phone. I have another link to fetch.


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thank you

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Healing Forest Diet for the prevention of cancer and for healing. [easily modified for diabetics] The diet is excellent for conditions caused by viruses and bacteria. Save the rain~forests, the ocean, the people... Planet Earth.

I work with a group of cutting edge physicist at Noetic Sciences with regard to Conscious Based Science and what you would call "the new modality or paradigm of medicine"

I have more sites. This is a start, though. I'd better pay my account or I will lose 25 sites already built. I didn't realize it was overdue til yesterday. Wow; that sounds cool. I'll have to check it out.

irrespective of how much I thought I knew life can be a humbling experience when certain events and perhaps too many come in such a short duration

I understand. It can be overwhelming, but, your outlook makes a big difference in reclamation.

Every cell in the body responds to what the mind tells it.

yes, since perception is a function of our early environment we have to recondition our way of perceiving stimuli

the core beliefs that make up the subconscious mind is a powerful force

Never mind the past. What's happening presently will make the difference.

well having the story fall off is part of it


mine has and it is the present that is the source of discomfort

the past is referred to as the story


I'm talking about how you choose to address it in the present.

good question

11/18/2015 10:26pm

I loved talking with you Kim, you made my evening and your such a kind and interesting woman. Thank you for allowing me in your life and I hope to see you sometime before long.

thank you

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awesome Kim, really is, thank you

The Rainforest Diet

Pinterest is a visual discovery tool that you can use to find ideas for all your projects and interests.

so cool

Global Healing Center

Doctor, Farmer, & Author Dr. Edward Group III & His Global Healing Center Products

Sprout Grass Baby Greens

Life Giving Lemons [FIGHT CANCER] What to do when life gives you lemons

Ancient Medicine Today [FIGHT CANCER]

Keep Austin Weird

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My sweetheart

11/19/2015 12:53am

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Thank you for sharing all of this information with me Barbara

are you still up Kim?

11/19/2015 2:55am

My daughter just left.

I see, so you doing ok?

11/19/2015 4:33am

I just requested information from PowerBrands.US so I can find out manufacturing costs for infant formula, They have all needed services covered. I haven't received a reply from SunOpta. Maybe they looked up my business name just to find out it's not registered. They could at least send a reply; or am I rushing them? Power Brands looks good, too.

only thing of importance is the product, everyone starts somewhere

you can operate as a DBA Sole Proprietor to keep the accounting and taxes easy, the main thing is simplicity

if there is ever anything I can do to help you just let me know Barbara

Sure... SunOpta may be out of my range, anyway. I don't know if they offer the full range of services that this one has, anyway. I know I can't do it myself. Yes; I am the only proprietor. I was hesitant to calculate the amounts of each ingredient on a free site which has info on some of them in their database. I didn't want to disclose the info that much.

No isolated nutrients will be in it. They are all provided by the food~bases. It makes it a little more complex figuring out how to keep each vitamin, mineral, & such within the required minimum & maximum levels. All are selected, but amounts of each are only generally calculated, They have to be more precise & any that must be outside the range of regulations must be cleared with the regulatory board.

I could help you with marketing:

It's not a slicer nor a dicer

not a elixir nor a tincture

you can eat it, blow it, snort it or sniff it

Some ingredients are already proprietary; but some are generic. They simply must be the best available, but companies have been sourced for those. I'm not going for the cheapest as a criteria, unless it is the best. Wow; I'm not used to having help with anything. That's amazing.

and guaranteed not to kill you:)

this is what happens when i stay up late

well that was just off the cuff, sort of a rough draft:)

a work in porgress

like my brain

Not sure what you mean. Ah... it is a joke? It is a multi~billion dollar industry. I do wish to maintain quality control. It's not really about money. I hope to be able to finance the rest of my line with iit. I'm itching to make gelato. I have only thought of it in terms of 20 quarts at a time in some kind of Amish generator~powered ice cream maker toted in a wagon!

I love Italian Ice Cream Barbara

My flavors may be combined by matching colors, for simplicity. I'm very tired, also. I avoid sleep often.

yo tambien

me too

I'll bet you, in all seriousness [not a marketing ploy], that I can make the most functional & exotic in the world.

you are already exotic but yes, I believe you

I mean that in a complimentary way Barbara

Not only are some of the recipes acceptable for diabetics... they actually have constituents which are selected to heal such weaknesses of the immune system. see; I'm afraid to make claims. I wouldn't do that; jst sayin'.

awesome, I already like it, please give me some:)

My sister wants to be my first guinea pig. ha ha

no pick me, pick me!

How bout an ice cream social with a natural rootbeer fountain, punch, tea, blacklites, & a rainbow maker? LOL

throw in the strobe light and the fog maker and we're in business

Fog is stinky... maybe dry ice fog? I didn't want to cause anyone epileptic fits with a strobe, but I like them! I have a lighting store somewhere... I guess in Amazon; forgot where I put it.

seizures make a nice conversation piece

My stores are ghost towns. I've been letting the links expire without updating. What's the point if I can't advertise?

you can, just take one step at a time

mi amor I'm going to bed and will call you today

get plenty of rest and take care of yourself, I want you to feel good when I take you out

The first logo I played with. Sweet dreams.

night little sweetheart

12/13/2015 2:29am

Today I touched the soft satin of a rose petal that gave way and floated downward next to my feet offering it's silent wisdom. The unfolding in full blossom unafraid and let go. I witnessed more petals giving way in a free fall of fulfillment. As I age there are profound lessons in the most subtle, in the twinkling of an eye there is such clarity, understanding and peace to just plain getting through whatever task is at hand. Often it is here that I loose my person. Everything around me becomes an object to manipulate or an obstacle to overcome. Left out of my heart I've lost my presence in delusions and distractions that further remove me from truth, light and grace. Soon I have lost what centers my work and what makes it sacred. The art of living requires balance in all aspects of life. However the sublime is expressed best in the rose petal, the unfolding, the fragrance and beauty, then the letting go. We have to let go of one of American's favorites who has made his way into the hearts of all of us. What an unfolding was there. B Joyner

Beautiful. Who do you speak of?

I wrote this about the time Robin Williams passed away.

Ah, a great man. I really like Mork from Ork.

yes I did too Barbara, how are things in Austin?

I'm in San Marcos. When in Austin, I didn't go anywhere. I've been helping my daughter catch up on all her hard work. She saves it for me.

well she is lucky to have you. you should come to Houston

I don't have a vehicle.

could ride a bicycle:)

A cold front just blew in. Should have started out several days ago.

It is the adverse conditions that make you appreciate your destiny

sounds poetic:)

It's windy & raining. That is poetic. I'm a poet.

God will be with you:)

Yes; I think so. I prayed for my family to be back together. I need to heal a sick grandchild, but don't have enough access. It's one of 3 that I raised.

well, you could always adopt and heal me, my life has been a total nightmare

I would adopt my grandchildren if I had my own place. Are things not improving?

yes they are but I didn't think I would survive

What did the doctor say?

said I had an aggressive form of cancer and they did a procedure and there were no signs of cancer

Cancer where?

bladder and kidneys

I had renal failure

A procedure removed the cancer?


the procedure was to locate it in the kidneys and bladder

dr said whatever was there is gone

You need an overhaul with anti~cancer diet & supplements. How is it that an agressive form of cancer disappeared?

I haven't a clue but it just was not there

Then how does the dr. know it was?

from doing a cystoscope, imaging, blood work, urine sample etc

or first renal failure

Did you use supplements or pray it away?

I didn't have any treatment at all, however I did get on my knees and pray each day and meditate, took a lot of walks

I work with a group of physicist at Noetic Sciences, we have the contract on some 3700 cases of spontaneous remission

mine does not fall into the purview of a spontaneous remission

however it did surprise my doctor

trying to find a common denominator between those who went into spontaneous remission is not so easy

Wow. So how are you feeling?

something was there that caused my kidneys to shut down, also when I urinated I hemorrhaged, reading all the medical literature from Johns Hopkins and Mayo reflect there is only one cause for this type of bleeding

this started right after I found my wife of 20 years was having affairs, had opened some 14 different checking accounts in fictitious names for the purpose of taking my money and moving to her home in Colombia

there was just too much going on at one time

I was so depressed that I isolated for several months

didn't answer my phone, emails or messages

for me to be in so much pain that I am on my knees at my office in my home I have to be in excruciating pain

I lost my wife, a great deal of money then almost my life

Then you are ready for renewal? I didn't realize you were together so long. So she is gone?

not physically, but getting close to that as my children have stepped up on help me through this

Did you have any children together?

no, with my ex wife I have three

its just all very sad

I'm not prone to depression but I was for a few months

there must be a link between being depressed and illness

the symptoms were horrid and my doctor simply misdiagnosed

I've never experienced this level of sadness, shock, disbelief and greif

If you still have some money for an optimal diet & supplements you could pull through this. It need not be diagnosed to be treated. I know how to treat everything. I've experienced some of that myself. I know what PTSD or grief can do to a person. I've been abused more than once. I've been betrayed, too. Our minds can have a profound effect on every cell in the body, too.

I'm not broke at all

your an amazing woman

Then that's not a problem. The perfect diet with perfect supplements & medicinals isn't nearly as expensive as pharmaceuticals. Count your blessings, not curses. That's a start.

what kind of supplements and medicinals

I know them all; at least the best ones. I've been studying these for decades, & have narrowed down the exhaustive selections. That's why I want to have my formulas manufactured for infants; even newborns. I never gave formula to my kids, bt others aren't so fortunate. My other formulas will be made into gelato & candy bars, cakes, & delicious treats. But, these are made of super~food functional medicinals for the treatment of every major malady.

well I'm really glad you live close, I could learn a lot from you

Natural sweets with low glycemic sugars like lo han monkfruit sugar or coconut blossom sugar. Lo han is said to be 0 calorie, if that's possible. You need KB11. That's 11 herbs taken by the pinch for kidney & bladder. Also moringa. I eat it fresh from the tree. My daughter has a few small trees in pots.

wonderful Barbara

Your bread should be Manna Bread. It's sprouted, unleavened, & much like cake. The best leavened bread is Genesis.


sweetheart I am going to bed, I hope we can talk later today

If constipation, use Swiss Kriss, also just a pinch of sweet ground herbs. For antibiotic, use Phytocillin by Herbs, Etc. It clears tooth abscess quickly. You may wish to consider food~grade H2O2. I healed a kidney infection in a day & a half with it some years ago. I'm well studied on it. I'm willing to help you, since it's more important than any other volunteer project I'm working on for others right now. Yes, we can talk tomorrow. I can give you a list of things to get from the Global Healing Center. I have been wanting to go there since I have an affiliate account with the doctor. Maybe we can go together. Sweet dreams to you.

01/04/2016 8:02am

That sounds great Barbara, if I ever needed help in my life it is now. I've never been in a position where I needed help to this extent. Although not shy, outgoing and extremely witty I isolate which is diametrically opposed to my nature. My home is your home if you ever come to Houston or I could come visit you. Barbara I'm on my way to a doctors appt but will be back about 11:30am and your welcome to call me 832-246-9753 or I can call you whatever is convenient for you. I have felt fatigued during the holidays but have received a lot of attention from friends who are becoming aware that I'm not so well, however we don't talk about any issues. I received a call from our high school student body president who indicated my class wants to have a mini reunion for me. I'm overwhelmed and glad to feel this sort of love but don't feel like going all the way home and exerting the necessary energy for this or anything else. You are a saint or some sort of earthly angel Barbara, what right thing have I done in life to deserve your help. You touch my heart.

Did you ever think I might need your help, too? I just went through a bout of depression last night. I wanted to talk to you, but didn't want to burden your mind. I did go to your wall, briefly. I just finished a 2 hour surgery on my finger. That's great, because last time, a few days ago, it took 3. I have a pain in my upper arm which only hurts when I move it a certain way. My eyesight is weakening. But, I'm hanging in there. I got food poisoning Dec. 31st. Yesterday I was much better. I'm getting along great with a family member which I used to clash with. My dreams are good. I'm the most active member in the group, Hidden Lineage of Jesus & Mary Magdalene. I work closely [online] with the administrator. I ask that you not mislead me or lie to me, because I would like to trust you. We may get along well & I need a friend. I was just checking out Dr. Mark Stengler. He seems well~informed. I watched a few videos & listened to a talk about his work. I'm not a saint, but my mother was pretty darn close. I have many saints in my family tree. I'm not Catholic, but I do study saints; my ancestors, in particular. I would really like to sing if you can still play guitar. It could be fun. If you don't feel like going all the way home; where are you? Do you mean to the place you went to school? What is the latest report from your doctor[s]? I know how you feel about not being shy & on being outgoing, yet having isolated yourself. I am the same way. I'm a bit shy in some ways, but not at all in most. But, I have been on 'sabbatical for many years. i'd really like to return to society & overcome my dumb idiosyncrasies. Do you drive? What is your political leaning? Is your wife helping you at all?I never had a cellular telephone & I'm not at the landline we talked on before. I've been at a daughter's place through the holidays. I loaned her 280 dollars & my son another 130. That leaves me 200, for the moment. My father had given me 500 for Christmas. My crowdfunding endeavor yielded a whole 1000th of what I was requesting; & since that didn't even register as 1% of the goal, is likely the reason why GiveForward cut cut the campaign short after 1 month. Nobody was interested in infant formula. So, I'll just start with blue purple 'ice cream'. It will be so much cheaper than manufacturing the infant formula. I can even make the prototype batch myself, yet asked Lick Honest Ice Cream to do it for me since I can't afford the ingredients & also the equipment to make it... which could simply be a used Professional Series Kitchenaid Mixer with freezer bowl.

If anyone can help you, I know that I can. Are you still standing? Then know that there is hope for your full recovery.

What is the prognosis?

I'm standing and in pretty good shape other than what I mentioned. I love life and people, isolating is contrary to optimizing health. I'm the only non physicist working for Noetic Sciences in the area of concious based science although I have a masters in physics. My attention has turned toward film and writing but I like playing my acoustic guitar the most. I like a life of simplicity and working with troubled young men. I have been involved in this work for 18 years through the archdiocese and college international offices. The you people live with me an average of 4 years, today I have my 44th. As a former judge and prosecutor there is nothing more valuable than character, honesty and integrity. I'm not however in the canonization process for sainthood:)

Wow... a masters in physics. That's impressive. Archdiocese? Is that catholic? I did a brief consultation again yesterday with Issac Rayappan. He used to be a priest. I helped him for a few months online last year. He's the founding director of of the NGO, Kenosis Foundation of Bangalore. So there is no cancer diagnosis?

My brother , the professor, used to work with troubled teenage boys.

No cancer, but no understanding why I'm isolating, no depression or at least not anymore. Perhaps some form of dementia, if so it's sporadic, however not practicing self parenting or taking care of myself. Possibly not organic, I only know I have to start optimizing my health, difficult on my own, considering possibilities, my doctors want me to move into a retirement home. Not for that, my son is my guardian until I overcome what's ailing me

Is he legally your guardian? By doctor's order? Are you on any psyche drgs?

Not trying to judge; only assess situation.

I read through your book list at GoodReads. Have you read Magister Ludi ~ The Glass Bead Game?

Sorry that is is unfair of me to ask you not to lie to me & then begin interrogating you. I' really NOT that type of person. I'm simply a wee bit afraid of one who is out of my league, so to speak. We do share similar taste in reading material. I already said I would help you; so your answers are not determiners of my willingness to assist. You don't have to answer, either.

You may need to learn self forgiveness. Put on the new man.

01/05/2016 3:33am

it was a busy day Barbara, my daughter is getting married and I went with her to pick out a venue. If there is one thing I am not it is out of your league, the only thing that I know for sure is I don't know anything. I probably wanted to put a good step forward and probably over did it. To put it in context I'm wanting you to see that I'm not just some looser, that I was a viable force as a lawyer and find myself humbled by my inability to function as i did. Thank you for writing me and sharing your thoughts, I am the most unpretentious person and give my life to working with young men who really have had issues, sometimes I do go into full retard mode:)

01/05/2016 1:01pm

I thought if you were on psyche drugs I could suggest alternatives, so that you might wean off of those. I used to have a best friend who was on a number of them. I shouldn't be afraid. Love is not perfected in fear; but, love casteth it out. I can understand how people have mental problems & it is to be expected that someone in those fields would invariably suffer them at some stage. I can tell that you have compassion. We do not remain static, but transform over time.Being humbled is a good sign. Too many men are not. It can be particularly challenging for those who have extended education to shake some of the delusions which they have learned from higher institutions. I'm not saying that is the case here; just a thought. I know people who have over a decade of college education. I was deprived of my education, due to raising 3 children. Then, I raised 3 of my grandchildren; although, during that time, became a perpetual student. My mother & sisters got caught up with children, as well. My father & brother, however, were successful at achieving advanced degrees & secure employment . My brother is an art & IT professor & does ecological work. My father has a dozen patents with Celanese [now Hoescht~Celanese] & is a retired senior chemist group leader. Mama died from cancer. All my grandparents & great grandparents lived into their 90's. Again, the women raised the young'uns & the men were highly successful. Your accomplishments amaze me. You could've turned out to be a starving artist hippy couch~hopper, being a 60's child. Rebels tend to give up the good life. I'm all about quality. If I cannot create something with the best components, what's the use in making it? I should've been a doctor or biochemist; or environmentalist. I always wanted to be an archeologist; & satisfy that urge by finding artifacts. I have become too timid to continue doing that, by myself, because the best areas are dangerous for a woman to be exploring in alone. How much do you drink; are you an alcoholic? I've known many of them, & am familiar with the angles on that problem. Some people hate or distrust those who have lots of money or lack thereof. Although I am not like that; I never trusted men who insisted on buying my affection. I used to be a dancer, for a long time. That's how I supported my children. I had a live~in boyfriend babysitter who was a genius inventor type. I did the chores, half the shopping, & the laundry. It was a busy time & I made my own schedule. I'm in rejuvenation mode right now. I feel used by my daughter because I am her slave. My upper arm was injured loading & unloading her truck. She moves around a lot. She is getting more stable, however. She drives for a living now. My other daughter has been working steadily. She has a son who just turned 6. She's leaving her boyfriend finally. My sisters, both, just went through divorces because their children were old enough to handle it. I cook & clean for my friends, plus a little gardening. I used to clean nasty condemnable houses for single parents. I never made a dime from it. Sometimes I even remodeled. I used to be a house painter. I also dragged brush & rolled logs for tree surgeons, my friends. I earned money then. I wish my son had a mentor like you. He's 28, moves furniture, & likes to draw & paint, write poetry & sing karaoke. He's half Jamaican/Puerto Rican. I'm frustrated & lonesome. It's time to go on a perfect diet & feel vital. My body looks perfect, but my upper body muscles are starting to atrophy & my face fall. That's tough for a woman. I may need progesterone, or something. I have well over half my hair color, still. I have perfected my medicinal formulas, on paper. I transformed them into desserts because who wants a diet of capsules? They are great for diabetics, even. By the way, stay away from artificial sweeteners! Use natural cleaning substances. Chemicals are toxic. I have a sense of taste & smell that goes far beyond others in sensitivity. If I liked alcohol, I would be a taster. I'm not an alcoholic, but simply avoid the stuff. One day soon I might drink some fine dry wine, without preservatives. Being in retard mode isn't such a horrible thing. LOL I used to play chess, on the beach, with a retarded friend. It was ok to be slow at it with him.

You are not a loser. You simply don't know how to spell it. Humor, ork!

01/05/2016 3:00pm


01/05/2016 10:17pm

Yes I sometimes feel a little displaced but I have nothing to complain about. I don't think my forgetfulness and the state of apathy is only psychological, I don't feel down on myself and haven't done anything I can't forgive(even as a lawyer):) There could be an organic component so I'm sending you a video of the doctor I'm going to see. 95% of my life represents a person full of energy, love,compassion who has been successful in my profession. It is strange how I suddenly can be fatigued and isolate, I don't feel depressed or sad, at least not at this time. I have in the recent past though. You can't imagine the resources expended for traditional and alternative medicines, I think I will come out of this but for the short term I need some help in establishing and maintaining a healthy routine. My short term memory has been adversely effected, so I've had 3 previous apps's with Dr Amen, twice in LA and once in New York, I missed them all but I usually forget and miss other appointments as well. Calendars, sticky's, alarms all that is part of a linear approach hasn't worked. Whatever the causation if there is one it like everything else is impermanent. Love Bobby

Ok; yeah, I know how it is when you're physically weakened, but not, otherwise, depressed. I don't think that going so far to see doctors is necessary.

It shouldn't be too expensive for alternative medicines. I would not randomly try them. I have developed a kind of protocol on those. For that of another, you could check out Dr. Sircus, His basic protocol... I don't know about the ayahuasca though. That isn't necessary & not in the basic protocol.

Treatments and Products

The Natural Allopathic Protocol is powerful and at the same time extraordinarily safe because nutritional medicines, not pharmaceuticals, are employed.

Actually; I assessed his protocol for ebola.

I will read over this inform Barbara, I appreciate this very much

I can place an order, mainly to Amazon, for most of my protocol. I'll be at a phone tomorrow.

01/06/2016 7:11pm

yes do you have my phone number Barbara?

832-246-9753 ?

yes thats it

how are you this evening Barbara?

Just waking up after a few hours sleep. I got back to Austin, from San Marcos. My friends needed chores done. I put away most of the Christmas decorations I had displayed weeks ago. I spent Christmas with my son. My daughter was working most of the day. My other daughter was busy in her neck of the woods. My extended family seems to have, somewhat, disowned me; although my father visited at Thanksgiving.

happens in so many families Barbara

my brother moved back to our hometown to take a new job & go back to university to pursue his Master's degree, perhaps. My sisters had recent divorces, but got together with our cousins.

2 out of 3 out my grandchildren, who became wards of the state, have been released to their fathers. My other grandchild turned 6. We had a small party for him. I was sick over New Year's; but, am doing much better.... gaining in strength, yet still a bit congested.

My brain is becoming slowly, but surely, more focused. I have released a great deal of worry; so, I feel better about gaining ground by going at my tortoise's pace. I have pretty much overcome a brief bout of depression & frustration. I am increasingly peaceable with others, even to the point of easy, lighthearted interaction with a couple which I had endured strained relations with in the past.

My volunteer efforts have been very slow, due to a search for paid freelance opportunities. If I knew better how to use the crowdsourcing sites, it would be easier. But then, I must also blame a lack of technical savvy. I taught myself to use the internet, so, I'm not faring too badly.

What i know about you Barbara is your a really good person

I studied spiritual & health matters, social activism, public health & education, natural law & 'universal constants'... The list goes on. I have learned how to be a good person. I admit I have a tendency toward selfishness; but, making a personal vow to God for temporary poverty has helped. Now, I am assuredly basing my business on quality & am in a position, nearly, to help a lot of people; perhaps even the rainforests & indigenous groups. Ah; well, that vow took effect about 37 years ago. It's a difficult one to break loose of. The shell has become petrified. Every windfall slips through the grasp like the wind.

I wish you would plan a weekend to come over here and see how you like it here

I should get inspired enough to write poetry again. I have given that some thought, yes.

good because you will enjoy your weekend and you'll have a nice time. We can talk about things when your here and you will come to know me better

I spoke to one of my daughters about a visit. [not the one who drives for a living. She has to get her car reinspected first.

sure thats fine

The other one, I mean.

Ok Barbara, it will be nice to have you here

I have to overcome agoraphobic tendencies to go anywhere. I used to love spending hours, at a time, in grocery stores; but I haven't gone, even there, in a very long time.

I was a waitress, in the past, & a dancer for many years. I haven't gone dancing in ages. I used to break up fights in public, as a volunteer.

what sort of dancing sweetheart?

Topless at gentleman's clubs in Austin, Dallas, Arlington, Ft Worrth, Waco, san Antonio, Kingsville, etc.

wow, it has been so many years since I have gone to see that. you would have to be a very good dancer

& Corpus Christi & Flour Bluff, too. Plus, I danced from 5 to 20 hours per week at after~hours regular danceclubs, for fun.

you must have been in really good physical shape

Yes; I had better start dancing again if I wish to retain great leg musculature.

something tells me you are fine as you are

All I need is to nurture myself more & keep inspired, as well. I took care of 3 grandchildren for a decade & a half.

I have to admit it is stimulating to hear about your dancing, not that I think in that direction as I'm always a gentleman.

I had quit stripping for 9 years, until my eldest started doing it. On her second night at work, I went back to it to train her, for her own good.

you sound like the most exciting woman in the world, also a loving substantive woman

Then we were each making up to 350 dollars a day.

well you are very beautiful Barbara

in body, mind and soul

I think you would be a great inspiration Barbara

you will feel very safe here in my home, bring your sister with you

Now that I'm past menopause, my hormones aren't doing the job of keeping so young. I need supplementation & a better diet. [& more exercise than sitting at the computer.] You mean my daughter? I don't know what my sisters are up to, except that one of them is still raising preteen & teen sons.

well I want you to come

or I can pick you up

The other one has been vegan for a while. She's only 2 years younger. Her kids are grown.

My brother is married, without children.

I can talk you for walks

My ex, of years ago, is still waiting around, not in Austin, for my return. Another one is kind of hoping for the same. ha ha

lol, you want to move forward

Pretty much.

[unequally yoked, I guess]

we can learn much more from each other by being in each other's pretense

You mean presence? giggle

lol, yes presence

I'm no pretender; fairly genuine.

yes I know that

That's why I made gradiently less as I went, being a dancer. I couldn't play the game.

and you don't have too with me sweetheart

I even witnessed for Jesus, sometimes, while sitting with customers. LOL

i will be so glad to see you

you can help me with this short movie

How many times did I have to hear, 'What's a nice girl, like you, doing in a place like this?'?

I think there is an art to being an exotic dancer

they ask because your beautiful in your total persona Barbara

When asked how much I cost; I would say, 'priceless.' Then, I would invariably hear something like, 'Does that mean free?'. It is an art, indeed. What's the film about?

Being magnetic has won me too many stalkers!

I prosecuted my fare share of stalkers when I was a DA, I sentenced my fair share of stalkers as well. It is such a creepy crime

Yes; I couldn't ride city buses, even.

well, i just looked at your photos, I didn't realize you were so beautiful

now i feel nervous

not nervous, just you are so pretty

I still have a few photos of a stalker. My friend took them at public events.

I'm not that pretty anymore. I'm aging.

but so gracefully Barbara

you are beautiful

Thanks. My mother was a beauty, & a Christian witch.

The movie is interesting, I wrote the story, then the screen write, my friend in LA did the storyboard, now I just need to shoot it. My client and friend is a producer in LA and is going to come help as well

My father got the title of 'most handsome' in his high school yearbook at least a couple of times.

I haven't made a storyboard since high school.

I have cinematography quality cameras, lighting etc etc


you would be a big help and always inspire me to stay with it

it is a tribute to a organization that helped my son become sober. It starts with a funeral, a mother lost her 16 year old son, the camera pans behind her eyes so I can humanize the story quickly. The mother becomes depressed

it helps that I've been an entertainment lawyer

I can understand the sentiment, indeed. Which org?


I've heard of it.

it is one of the best in the country

Great! Thank God for such favor.

no Barbara, I am the one who is benefiting, I can't talk to anyone about what I'm going through lest i undermine the confidence others have in me

Of course.

Barbara, please don't think that I am motivated toward you for sexual reasons or would in anyway want to take advantage of you

I did not know you were good looking until a moment ago

I do think we could help each other

That's cool, because I have suffered from humiliation in the past.

put that out of your mind Barbara, i have always been able to stay focused

It has taken quite some time to recover... if I even have.

not all men are alike dear Barbara

That's what I tell myself; but, I'm still on the fence.

i'm an easy person to check up on, you will have a great time

you need different experiences

I know. Stagnation doesn't become me.

i have recovered some of the independent spirit I had in my youth.

eating the most nutritious foods, walking and doing yoga with me will make a great difference in your psyche and body

I even 'went out' for cheerleader, but, it didn't help that I tried out with my obese best friend.

A little guidance might go a long way in my improvement.

sweetheart, I have to go for just a bit to go eat with a friend, I'll call you when I get back or talk to you here. I want to visit with you this evening

Ok. Enjoy

01/07/2016 3:09am

There are some aspects of life in which I could be a big asset to you with regard to a viable path in which your emotional, financial and critical thinking skills are exponentiated. Also principles that will effectuate a greater utility of time expended and how one culminates affluence. With me I I had the propensity for success but had a wonderful mentor guide me in aspects of living and business that I would have never known. At some point affluence becomes effortless. We all have to be taught. So we could help each other.

01/07/2016 10:57am

I can appreciate that concept. I just want to make whatever I have designed. I put thorough research efforts into what I formulate. When it comes to less material things; I will have to make myself write books. Althoug I realze that; it is still hard to \ Stop

A cat just entered that, not me. She won

t stay off the computer.

I can't stop reading long enough to write. If I gather my notes, it would be a start. Sometimes, I'm too shy to publish what I write. I'm so used to naysayers attacking me that I fear attack on a large scale. I am getting a friendly following on a group. It's the Hidden Genealogy of Jesus & Mary Magdalene. It isn't only that they [I think] were married & had children. I feel strongly that MM was John the Baptist. I'm afraid to write a book to that effect. I think she was John the evangelist, also. But, I don't read fiction & don't care to write it. I do read some myth & legend about ancestors. It doesn't go beyond that, because I don't wish to confuse fact with fiction. It isn't like I want to be crazy. I just keep running into walls when it gets down to having to pay for anything. Even if I have a little cash, I don't want to go put it on a debit card because I don't go anywhere by myself. I'm insecure about it. I used to do that. I guess I don't want to push my luck anymore. I feel like a VIP & protect myself accordingly. I want my own line of products, including infant formula. I only took on the challenge of designing it for the benefit of babies, toddlers, & the elderly. Everyone else can eat cake & ice cream. I make cake that is super healthy. I make a lot, at a time, because it disappears quickly. That's not what I want to sell. I will make waffle cones & ice cream. I want to make vegan gelato, even more. It is designed to treat all conditions. I won't make that claim, however. I don't want big pharma after me. I never had a mentor for professionalism. I have a professional attitude, somewhat. But, I have become a rebel toward commercialism. Even what 'they' call 'grassroots' nowadays doesn't seem that way to me. I'm old~fashioned in some ways. If I make a call, I want to talk to a real person; one who is friendly.I may be too sensitized to be very influential. I was trained to be domestic. I can knit & pearl, embroider, crochet a little, sew, clean & cook. Those type things didn't go much further than the ladies home bazaars. The elderly women who trained my generation didn't know what we would need in the future. I thought about Toastmasters, but wasted my time in debate with individuals. Those were folks who were president of their debate teams in high school or college. Sure; they can use logic to the point of being illogical; but I can't stand debate. I really don't find it progressive. it just expends energy while people go round in circles.

Sure; i'd like to be Queen, but don't know if I am capable of that much responsibility However; with a decent advisory board, it might be doable..

01/08/2016 12:53pm

Hi sweetheart

01/08/2016 2:51pm

Greetings, kind sir.

How are you today Barbara?

01/08/2016 5:40pm

I'm healing slowly. My upper arm is improving, which is quite a relief. My daughter had asked me if I had bone cancer, or something; but I guess not. I probably injured it unloading furniture from her truck.

I just made a good stir~fry potted pie with fresh herbs, broccoli, & cauliflower from the garden; topped with cheese, plus corn on the cob.

Sounds good, I'm at my friends house waiting for him to open the gate. He is the only person in the Woodlands to own a mansion

Oh; I thought everyone did, there. heh. Maybe I would call a moderate house a mansion.

01/09/2016 1:48am

Dearest Barbara, i just wanted you to know I didn't forget you although the hour is late, or early, one or the other. I hope you had a nice evening, you seem to know a great deal about nutrition, it is difficult to believe that a person like myself could be suffering from malabsorption and malnutrition. I'm in the process of trying to learn but I should have had a clue, this might be the source of the previous issues I shared with you.

It's easy to reach a state of malabsorption, which can lead to malnutrition. Nutrition is my hobby & has been since the 70's. I didn't like the way it was taught at U of Houston, except in the anthropology dept. I know you didn't forget me. It's ok.

hard to forget you Barbara

That's sweet. I'm still congested; & eating cheese is not helping. I have to start getting my own foods. I have looked at my wish list on amazon [the private one called Exotic] I selected the cheapest ingredients so I can throw together a basic version of low glycemic therapeutic ice cream. [vegan]

thats incredible Barbara

It's the best. I've even studied the flavors of the ingredients I have never tried. It's truly exotic. Ever heard of pili nut? It's the only nut which qualifies as a superfood. That's because it grows in volcanic soil. Lots of magnesium in there. Heard of monkfruit sugar? [aka lo han go] No calories there; yet delicious. Coconut sugar is excellent, too. These are nutrient dense & fine for diabetics. Heard of jabuticaba? [just examples] Pre~sprouted pili nut makes 'chocolate', only better. So does cupuacu.

Check it out. This is exotic 'blue apples' or rather jabuticaba.

jabuticaba fruit - Google Search

No I'm sorry to say I'm totally retarded with regard to nutrition

Well; I have studied for 40 years. I should do panel discussions for television.

Most dietitions & nutritionists don't know the half of it.

I know a few people online who do.

i think the integrative nutrition school in New York is supposed to be good

I've seen that a lot of people have studied there, bt, I'm not familiar with them.

I'm not either

What many overlook is the importance of the exact form which should be used & is most appetizing. Each food has an ideal form.

I know supplements & medicinal extractives, too. I simply narrowed it all down to mostly food forms.

I studied trophology & synbiotics [prebiotics & probiotics] Trophology is the science of food combining [what to eat together, what you can't eat together.

It is almost impossible to believe that I would loose all passion for all aspects of life, not intentionally and not aware that I was isolating so much. I think there are events in life that can potentially damage the spirit or psyche, whatever the case or whatever the malady I'm moved into an apathetic existence that has had an adverse effect on the pathology as well. I don't have any answers and only hope i'm asking the right questions

Different enzymes, different waiting times in different parts of the digestive tract...

It sounds, at least, a step above apathy, because you demonstrate that you still care.

I know the molecular structure of amino acids and protein molecules and can tell you what most substances or medications do in the body. This sort of understanding means nothing if your unconnected with the lack of energy and motivation to learn something about what might restore the body

I'm beginning to care but only after a long protracted period

A clinical view can be taken whenever it is called for. The rest of the time, it is better viewed in a more enjoyable light. Restaurants aren't the best place to get good food.

Entertainment falls short. Being actively inspired requires more than that. Movies & television have gotten so depressing that even the comedy is melodrama. People don't realize that.

I don't have any sort of psychiatric disorder and have always personified stability and even mindedness. My friends intervened and I'm seeing a therapist. I think I just ate too many paint chips as a kid:)

Creativity goes a long way toward being free from stagnation. Don't analyze the past. That's a rut. Don't over~analyze the present. Only do it instantly, when necessary, then let it go.

To be in your element is more than carpe diem. It is in seizing the moment; the ever present eternal now.

yes there is a nexus or proximate cause related to the past

I know what nexus means, yet understand not the statement.

I'm letting events from the past effect my present

but the events from the past are ongoing and still part of the present. It is like a wound that can't heal

Yes, I know. I'm already familiar with others who had that problem. maybe that's why I throw myself into research like I do. That's a closed minded way to assess it. As long as you are doing that, it tends to lock it in that way. It's like self~fulfilling prophecy.

no what I mean is that adverse circumstances from the past still exist, it is outside of me and nothing I have control over. Living here in this area there are continued similar events that doesn't allow the wound the heal over

I don't necessarily have the answers, but maybe... I studied natural law. I know that entanglement is difficult to surmount. It's like being a puppet of too many puppeteers.

I wish you lived closer Barbara

but I think most would prefer Austin over the Spring/Woodlands

It doesn't really matter too much, at this point, where I am; for it's all the same when you don't go anywhere.

LOL, yes you have a point, I don't think I have been more than 5 miles from my home in the last few years

Looks like we have fallen into similar patterns. But, we are not stuck in them. Sometimes we simply need a Sabbatical. Do you like table tennis or racquetball?

yes I do, both

Cool; I've got you beat in ping pong.

lol, it's been a while since I played

It's all backhand, except the serve.

I used to play, also played pool this evening with my friend

Cool; I learned on a long table, in Jr. High.

when you serve does that mean the ball will be in my throat:)

I know how to do hatha yoga. No; my serve is very low.

I just started back practicing Hatha Yoga, Yoga and meditation made a difference in my performance and state of being. I moved on to Kundalini Yoga and loved going to Sat Nam Fest in Joshua Tree, Cali

I used to do so much

There aren't too many games I like. Chess is cool, but I get desperate & take too long. I have looked at photos of Joshua Tree.

From grade 5 through 8 I played with a Oija board with my sister. Stratego is ok.

Tomorrow I'm going to my Kundalini Yoga teacher's birthday party, we are getting her a nice bike to ride. Experiences like Sat Nam Fest at Joshua Tree are some of the most memorable of my life, I have made life long friends

and the result of the Oija Board:)

yes Chess takes too long and I'm not sure how I would do

It was scary the 1st time, because my stepfather was looking for his son who was taken by his ex. His parents introduced us to it. Only one other time was it scary; but that is because it was a bunch of us girls & one of their grandmas. We asked the spirit to enter one of us & it happened... to my sister.

I would say to myself "feet don't fail me know"🙂

You can't run away from yourself.

you have a point:)

Did you ever read the Castaneda books?


yes all of them

he got into that later in life

Yes. I read most of them. I couldn't cross the bridge in the Eagle's Gift; but picked it up & finished it many years later. Are you not adept at shutting off the internal dialogue?

I can do that easily especially when I meditate or working with Noetic

or working with young people

You cannot be at the effect of random thoughts, right. Do you recall your dreams or have waking visions?

or play my guitar, I still have focus and control, it is more a matter of a trauma that has somehow effected the pathology or spirit

I recall dreams sometimes, but not waking visions

I've had trauma; & can sympathize.

Have you tried any entheogens or 'smart drgs'? I'm talking about the legal ones.

I know life is not for the faint of heart, and I have put myself in harms way for a cause, however it would take too long to explain the exact nature of what I experienced. It is not something that I won't overcome, my isolation has resulted in my friends flying in because I don't answer my phone

yes they help

I take provigil and it gets me out of bed

Never heard of it. I don't know pharmaceuticals.

provigil and nuvigil

I also am not big on pharma but it is a smart drug

I think natural ones are a better idea. I've tried piracetam elixir, kava kava, kratom...

Sleepytime Extra is a very nice tea; with valerian.

Celestial Seasonings

I know what your referring too but I haven't tried them, good idea though, yes I have sleepytime and valerian and it also helps

yes good company

It can give a nice walking meditation.

Kratom is just like opium. It is even used to get people off opium.

yes I have read about this

There are 3 main types, however; & one is more of a stimulant.

but where would I find this

It can be ordered online, I think. I know a place in Austin to get it; actually, in Manor.

I only tried it once.

well the more natural stimulant would be beneficial

Forget about salvia. I tried it once & it's horrible.

I have heard that across the board

Sat Nam Fest West 2013 Photo Montage

Discover the beauty and magic of Sat Nam Fest West! Out under the Joshua Trees in the spring, our festival sings your heart wide open! Thank you to all who m...

Kundalini Yoga in Action: Sat Nam Fest 2013

Filmed at Sat Nam Fest 2013 in Joshua Tree, CA, watch Kundalini yoga in action! Get a feel for chanting, kriya, meditation and the love we share during the 4...

watch the second one

this is one of the most spiritual experiences and the friends I made in Cali were the very ones who were present at my Dr's office waiting on me to arrive. It was an intervention and I thought "oh great they think I'm on drugs or drinking", no, they were there to address my isolation

That was cool. I've been to Rainbow Gatherings; beginning in 1980. I went to 4 nationals.

I lived in ashrams & co~ops. I went to lots of concerts & festivals outdoors.

that is outstanding Barbara, so you know what I'm talking about and how cohesive a group can be. I need that so much but find it hard to go out

you understand most of the experiences I'm relating to you Barbara, it is infinitely easier to share with you when you have had similar experience and even more importantly you understand this issue of isolation

I used to be very outgoing. Now I am the opposite. But, it's time for transformation.

I'm so glad to hear you say that

I'm not willing to make the change all by myself. I used to run from North of UT to downtown at about 1:30 AM so I could get to a dance club about the time that the drunks were leaving. Then I would dance a couple of hours. Now, I won't even walk down the street in the daytime.

Well I will help you, in doing so I am helping myself Barbara, we are in the same boat

I get along with people rather well in a relaxed setting. I am an icebreaker when nobody is dancing. I'll get out on the floor by myself. Before a song or 2 passes, lots of folks will be dancing... or not, I wouldn't even care.

I like parties. I used to crash them successfully. LOL

Most folks don't have your dancing skills and feel embarrassed, I used to knock back some cold ones then I thought I was dancing real good until someone stepped on my head:)

I wasn't a drinker.

I'm not a drinker, I was just trying to be funny:)

I drank in high school, at parties. Then, I started waitressing in high volume discoteques. After watching drunk people behave; I said to myself, 'I'm not going there.' I didn't have a sip of booze until 6 years after I became a dancer. I was 34.

yes but you always understand moderation and you know what you don't want to be

A dancer for a living, I mean. I was already dancing a lot before that. I just figured I better make money with it.

I drank 3 1/2 years & quit. I never picked it up again until I worked 3 years on staff at the Kerrville Folk Festival... but, not anywhere else.

Better yet; I know what I want to be. There's no identity crisis, per se.

I find it stimulating that you used to dance but I'm not a creep, I say that to you in the most respectful manner. I grew up, went to school, married, children and so my experiences are a little narrow.

You are a well balanced woman with such quality of experiences

I was raising children when I was a dancer.

I allowed myself to be possessed with the desire for money, property and prestige. When it comes it is not anything remotely like I had envisioned

I had my first when I was 23. I used to take her to Liberty Lunch reggae club & bed her down with a pile of other kids next to the dancefloor.

It takes a great deal of talent to express yourself through danc

I want to sing. I'm a little shy about it.

i have my acoustic guitar here

nothing to be shy about

My parents made me sing for everyone when I was 1 year old. I got timid about it.

I think my parents told me not to sing:)

I was singing Perry Como.

you have splendid taste

I pride myself on good taste.

you have a discriminative nature that is attractive

I have all my favorite songs already selected. I'm a bit of a listmaker.

and an organized mind

I like to condense directories & catalogs. I would make an outstanding buyer.

or seller or distributer

I made a mall of Amazon affiliate links to 15,000 hand~selected products.

i so lack in that area Barbara

it is one of my downfalls

i have felt so lost since I retired early and moved here

I am a poet, but haven't been inspired to write much in recent years. But, I did read thousands upon thousands of nonfiction books & websites. That's a shame. Hey; my only social life has been my daughter's friends, sporadically. I need a life, too.

wow Barbara, my only friends have been my oldest sons friends, I spent the day with one of them but I do have my one close friend in the Woodlands who i went to see this evening

we both need a life and neither one of us have one

Thing is; I was raising her kids & being her slave; which kind of kept me from helping my other grown kids as much as I would have liked.

She treated me like I was her teenage kid... for the last 15 years.

And she was a bitch! She's mellowing out since last year, to a large degree.

yes I understand being treated like that, my daughter dressed me down for saying something that embarrassed her and I'm going everywhere with her to pick out a venue. Her wedding is going to cost a small fortune, she does thank me but only going through the motions. I'm only called when she needs something, it hurts to not feel loved or appreciated


it's time to experience life in the manner we are supposed too Barbara

Everyone calls me Kim; but Barbara is alright, too.

Kim is easier:)

I like elegant surroundings, but don't need extravagance. I am more of a renunciate than that.

I too like elegant but mostly what makes my soul feel calm and even.

Yeah; I kind of go for feng shui.

i made the office in my home a traditional style with bookshelves since I read a lot. I just went for a look that makes me feel like a place I want to be. In the mornings I use this same office as a place of solitude, I put together sort of an inconspicuous alter that I use for prayer and meditation. I only started the meditation and prayer a month or so ago, I have to say that it helps along with Hatha Yoga

I have been meaning to make an altar.

The computer has been it.

I doubt it makes me more spiritual but it is more relaxing and sets the tone for listening to the quiet

I was just answering to the director of Kenosis Foundation in India. I had done some editing for him earlier.

I have read about the Ketone Diet

I like educational consulting. Editing gets tiring after a month or so. I liked doing research for Wayne Herschel, too; but, then I got caught up in his editing, too. At least he's primarily an English speaker! It's not like I ever get a dime for my work. I spent 2 1/2 months looking for that lost jet airplane. I've searched online for missing persons sometimes. I was searching satellite images for the jet.


your giving me ideas what to do with my time:)

I haven't flown in a while, but one way to get out is to go flying with me. I've been a pilot since age 16 and obtained my commercial/instrument at 19. That is a lot of flying, it's only a thought:)

sweetheart, I am going to go to bed, please have a good nights sleep and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Thank you for visiting with me Kim

love Bobby

Nice idea; I used to fly. I went up in my uncle's plane over his rice fields. I went up in a hot air balloon once & a helicopter once,at Padre Island. I flew; I mean rode in a 3~seater from Corpus Christi to Austin & then back. I flew to NYC & back a couple of times. I flew to Ohio & back, a year later. Half the engines went out on that flight. I flew to Arizona & back. I flew from Fort Worth from Corpus Christi, when we had to stop over in Houston & incarcerate a guy with bomb parts. I wouldn't get back on that plane & ended up riding in an old twin prop. I'm afraid of flying now... don't know why. Sweet dreams.

I like to ride horses.

if we just get out the door it is the first step toward something better:)

I like to search for Clovis & pre~clovis artifacts!

It's great if you go to an area where they are jst there, on the ground, in the small streams, & sticking out of the dirt or cliffside.

01/09/2016 7:14am

We need to have some measure of faith and make that jump into the uncertainty in order to fine our way out of this routine. We will need to meet and get busy, I will teach you what you don't know and you do the same.

01/09/2016 3:19pm

Sounds appropriate. Somehow I've become fascinated with the number 64, since I posted a poster last night, I've received 22 likes & commentary by someone wanting to look into the 64 tetrahedron grid. This is intuitive, on my part. My geometry is largely subconscious in understanding. Have you seen the Applied Sacred Geometrics group?

01/09/2016 5:56pm

yes I have, Buckminister Fuller a genius and great innovator tried to explain the significance of the 64 tetrahedron, it universal significance is what we refer to as toridial fluidity and there are the emblems representing this 64 t all around the world dating back millennia

you have a good mind Barbara, outside or within the scope of sacred geometry which I don't know is the mathematical understanding that all matter has a common denominator, from the flowers and the designs to the electrical magnetic field. It is the mathematics and science of electric magnetic fields that the number 64 is significant and thus the term toroidal fluidity. We map the heart these days from it's electrical magnetic field which is quite large.

Hi; I was on the phone. I'm not sure what was so intriguing today about the geometry, except that I went to sleep last night pondering it. If I had some kind of biofeedback device I could use to slow the brainwaves enough to be in the waking visionary [just before waking] state; I might be able to figure out something new. In that state, I've had major revelatory information accessed or received, yet, it's difficult to remember.

I used to read every unified field theory I could find; even joined a TOE group, which was over my head.

01/09/2016 9:28pm

my work with Noetic is not as interesting as you might think, although we deal with some esoteric questions it is with empirical scrutiny and most of what I do is write equations for my boss. We have the contract on the 3700 cases of spontaneous remission and Noetic has the best physicist in the country. The lead physicist at Noetic is Dean Radon who is a pioneer in the area of consciousness. We have learned more the last 25 years then the previous 5000, much of this is the result of the Hadron Accelerator in Switzerland. I attended a lecture recently in which the head of the Stanford mathematic depart spoke on the issue of singularity. He said something that I can't forget, he said that the average educated person would not have a clue exactly where we are technologically, he said it is akin to going back and explaining to Shakespeare how a plasma TV works. But nonetheless most of it can be understood with a little patience

No one person can keep up with all the new discoveries. Has CERN really taught us so much? I saw a crazy video that looked like they opened a portal in the sky. Can that be true. I'm familiar with wormholes because I think I have traveled them, on occasion. Are you talking about remissions from cancer? I watched a video by William Henry Most of it was about the rainbow body & ancient ascension tech. Toward the end, it was about plans by Google & a few other companies concerning transhumanism & the human brain being downloaded into robots, holograms, or computers. I went from rapture to despair by the end of it.

01/10/2016 2:41am

We found the Higgs Bosom or the God Particle, yes we are learning exponentially to the extent that industry is not able to keep up, therefor the issue of singularity. Spontaneous Remission is more or less a term of art, those that are dying of cancer where it has spread and compromised much of the rest of the body are sent home with hospice care and usually not expected to live beyond a couple of weeks or so. Although rare or about 1 in 56,000 one of these will wake up and the cancer is gone including any ancillary or collateral damage to other organs or tissues. The answers are outside the scope of traditional medicine so Noetic has the contract to find a common denominator if any as to why these specific individuals had healed. This area of medicine humbles all paradigms of medicine including allopathic, functional, Ayurvedic and Eastern medicine. From molecular biology, DNA and genetics to spiritual beliefs, patterns, thoughts, conditioned beliefs and behavior leaves a mystery. From all methodologies from Eastern thought, medicine and philosophy including our own we have yet to break the code that potentially unlocks the greatest discovery yet to be made. I do not work in that area. Barbara i'm not familiar with the work of Henry Most and only know of consciousness being integrated into complex systems and not even being sure about that.

Now I'm curious about the spontaneous remission. How are they going about figuring that out? Can I help?

I didn't mean how do they... You described that well. But, maybe I can help.

01/11/2016 8:13am

Hello Dear Barbara

Buenas Dias!

01/11/2016 8:03pm

what happened to my little Barbara?

Hi; I slept 12 hours, because the night before, I let my son sleep on the couch where I usually sleep. Last night I was doing volunteer editing work for Kenosis in Bangalore. Issac was desperate. We went through 13 pages. I got your message when I came to the computer; but there were 2 other messages, too. One was a guy I do research for sometimes. He wanted me to check to see if a couple of his url's had been blocked. One was from a guy who's selling a '99 Chevy Lumina for 400 dollars. It has a title & is legal to drive. He said he drove it to Lockhart twice in the last month. I was messaging my daughter to see if she could loan me 130 dollars because my other daughter hasn't paid me back the 280 I loaned her. Well; she came by, just now, & gave me a sob story about how she made her truck payment, but is behind 1600. on her child support & water bill & doesn't know if she can keep her apt. until the court hearing about placement of her 3 children. If she catches up, she can prove stability. But, UBER dropped her due to ratings not high enough. She still drives for LYFT but she is having such pain in her foot, shoulder, & side that it's limiting the hours she can drive. My other daughter was messaging me about her toothache. I told her to take Phytocillin. My son paid me back part of what he borrowed recently & loaned her 50. He's doing well in his job & supposed to pay me back tuesday. He's still homeless, though. I haven't asked him to make payments on the well over a thousand from a while back. So, I guess I'm short 130 dollars for the car I wanted to buy tomorrow. I don't know if my friend would loan it to me & both my friends here help me pick it up tomorrow in North Austin. I don't currently have a driver's license because I let it expire. I may have to take an actual driving test. I might just have to forget about a car. I could pass the test, though. I'm even good at parallel parking. Nice of my daughter to have brought cat litter & cat food. I'm cat~sitting her kitten. The other night, I read up some on the Inst of Noetic Sciences & also another site on spontaneous remission. My friend was just asking about how my daughter was doing & wanted info about a gutted 28 foot Airstream she's trying to sell for her father, so she can make 500. It's offered at 4000. He got married to a Panamanian & moved to Panama. There went her inheritance. My father promised to get DNA tested when he saw me at Thanksgiving. He even told me his budget for it & I hooked him up with a holiday sale at FTDNA. I don't think he did it. I was so in hopes of analyzing the results of his Comprehensive Genome test & he was going to get a test for me, too; which was a fraction of the cost, my being female. I'm really sad about that because my brother doesn't want to do it. I guess he doesn't trust it. Why do you refer to me as little? Isn't that demeaning? [even though my grandpa called my grandma 'Little Mammaw' or Mother] I know; I'm shorter than you. I feel like a failure, actually. I can do nothing for my oldest grandchild, who's still in foster care. It feels terrible. I'm so worried. I worry about the other girls, too; but, at least they're staying with their fathers now. That's not necessarily the best thing. They don't have such healthy diets, for one thing. All my work raising them on non~gmo organic mostly vegan foods... so sad. I feel lost in a lost world. Oh, no; my friend in India, who I spent several hours editing for, last night, is messaging me, saying he hopes I took good rest. Aargh I did a short surgery on my finger today, which was surprisingly effective. It's a nearly 12 year old cactus injury which had set me back when I was doing 40 hours a week working on it. Nowadays, I spend from under a half hour to 3 hours only once or twice a week, at the most.

I woke up pondering a ruby box & a geometric diagram.They were associated with each other somehow & it seemed important. Huh?

Maybe it was simply the ruby gemstone in conjunction with the diagram. I was likely adding the first poem I ever wrote, before I could even write. 'My magic box is ruby red. I put it aside when I go to bed. When I strike it, It makes fire. It holds all my heart's desire. [or the world's desire. I don't remember.]

01/12/2016 1:55am

you have a creative mind Barbara

Yes; question is, is it creative enough?

I think so

what are you doing Ms Barbara?

I'm chillin. I was just listening to David Bowie & praying for him.

very sad

I know the soul goes on... because I have memories of space & some from other lives, I think. There's no other explanation. I identify with the memories quite personally.

How are we going to get your body out of the house though?:)

Well; I woke up with congestion again. But, I slept 12 hours. I'm trying to get healthy. I was going to try to get a car tomorrow; [today] but, I'd have to have 2 people go with me, since my license expired. I'd have to borrow 140 dollars until the next evening, also. Then, I still wouldn't have money to register it, get insurance & a driver's licence. I don't know if my friends want to be recruited, etc. So, I don't know. I'm 'playing it by ear'.

OK, I'm here for you when your ready Barbara

That's cool. I doubt if my cough is contagious, but don't wish to chance it. I will be alright if I eat lots of lettuce, kale, broccoli, cauliflower, & herbs from the garden. The water purifier here is very old. That could be a risk factor. I'll drink more almond milk.

I sure would like to see you Barbara

I think singing would cheer me up. I'll probably try yo memorize some lyrics of my favorite songs. Maybe I should help Issac Rayappan with more editing. I just got a bit tired of that after several hours of it last night. Dwelling on the problems of women & children in the slums of India can be rather depressing.

I play the guitar and sing, you can sing with me

Sounds great! I like 60's songs & 80's rock ballads a lot; & some old contemporary Christian tunes.

I can do that

and it would get us out

I don't care for cold weather much. I'm from Corpus Christi.

well come to my house

I moved to Austin in '79. I've lived quite a few other places, though.

What about your wife? Won't she have reservations about it?

not hardly Barbara especially since she is leaving soon

I just don't want to get into a soap opera. I'm not into drama.

Barbara, your just going to have to trust me, I don't like drama either. I have had high school friends come stay with me and she isn't interested in me and other women at all

you would have your own room

Just making sure.

I give you my word little sweetheart, no problem

it would be good for both of us to spend some time together and get our lives back on track

I wish you were here

I know. My friend I'm staying with is very kind, but I can't even play music without an earphone here. He's very sensitive to noise. It's some weird condition. Our conversations can't get too heavy, either; as he's not interested in a lot of the subjects I study. My ex is even wose. He had 11 years of college which seemed to have gotten him brainwashed in some ways. He doesn't believe anything unproven by the mainstream is even possible. At least he likes Bernie Sanders & goes out of his way to campaign for him in public. He was such a wallflower before that.

I'm not too airy~fairy; but, I'm not closed~minded, either. When I moved to austin, I was immersed in the New age movement here. I had lots of friends back then.

01/12/2016 11:41pm

Well you need to know something about the Newer Age New Age Movement:)

The Newer Age Movement - Ultra Spiritual Life episode 9 - with JP Sears

The Newer Age Movement - Ultra Spiritual Life episode 9 - with JP Sears Videography by: Jator Pierre guest stars:

That's silly.

yes but funny

01/16/2016 12:36am

hi Barbara, hope you are doing well this evening

I was out in the sunshine most of the day; wearing only short shorts. I ate from the garden, also. I'm being scholarly now.

I like you being scholarly, you were communing with nature today sweetheart

only wearing shorts, sounds like you needed me to help with the gardening today:)

I was thinking about taking dry logs & making a burme with dirt & cuttings over the top. I was also thinking of designing vegan cheese.

I would love to help you sweetheart

I imagined having a trailer or motorhome set up like a food lab.

A trailer is likely more practical.

yes sounds like a good idea

you don't realize it Barbara but your an exciting woman, I am hoping we get together for a nice outing

I thought of ordering grassfed organic ice cream by the 3 gallons. I found a deal like that. Then, I could mix functional exotic rainforest superfruit powders with similar syrups / liquids; & sweeten with monkfruit sugar... then blend with the ice cream to make shakes or malts... or to pour over, to make sundaes. That would be the easy way. I would prefer to make a mostly vegan line.

awesome Barbara

I'm obsessed with frozen confectionery for medicinal value. I wouldn't have to make claims on curing anything. That's not necessarily the main thing folks look for, anyway.

you sure know your stuff sweetheart

Knowing is not enough. It must be put into practice for anyone to reap the benefits.

sort of like loving:)

I barely started a book on cancer diet. Joe Biden just announced that he is dedicating the rest of his life to cancer cures.

yes I heard that as well, while writing a cancer cure do you think you could squeeze on love letter in for me:)

I feel this favorable and loving emotion for you, it seems we could help each other. Your an easy woman to love but I don't want to run you off either. This has been the most difficult part of my life, not easy to share vulnerable moments with a woman. However your a great woman with a humble and loving spirit

I've been doing research for the group, 'Hidden Lineage of Jesus & Mary Magdalene'. I do the most posting there. Members are up to nearly 300. I had to 'eat humble pie' last night. I condensed a couple of pages of a Languedoc author / researcher & posted it with 5 photos from there. I didn't realize the authoress was in the group. Gee; why didn't she post such pertinent info herself? She complained that I copied & pasted, nearly word for word & mentioned plagiarism. She said I only mentioned her name once & only one of her books. I had to point out that I had discussed 3 of her books & only changed the word 'I' to she, because it was not my work. Then she said she still wanted an apology. I said, well, I'm still crying from having offended you, so I am truly sorry. She said 'Brave girl. Thank you'. LOL

We have all had humbling moments such as this Barbara, but what is most important is how you handle it. Everyone will have a new found respect for you because you handled yourself with dignity and grace, not just anyone would do that. I am very proud of you and it doesn't surprise me that you reacted with a humble spirit. It seems that my intuition is right about you and you are an exceptional girl. This is why I told you it was easy to love you Barbara without any agendas or expectation. If you love someone you just love them without expecting anything, I'm just glad and honored your my friend and I feel so close to you. Thank you for sharing that with me Barbara, it's just endears my heart closer to you

I study the early church & Holy family quite a bit. I have a dozen lines to Joseph of Arimathea & 2 lines to J & MM. 1 of those is a double line, wherein a Knox married a Knox. I'm a member of the Royal Stewarts [royal lines listed in the Clan Stewart site & accepted by Michael Stewart] I am about to join the Grant clan, as well. I learned, eventually, that being loving was far more rewarding than being right. I believe in sharable experiences & win~win situations.

I haven't joined the Davidic Dynasty because I know so little about being Jewish. I quit eating pork by age 18. I didn't know I had Jewish heritage until a few years ago. I had already studied Kabbalah, however.

I don't think a lot of so~called Jews are very Jewish. I don't care for the Zionist type.

I'm like a mystic Christian. A little bit Baptist, a bit Quaker, & interdenominational. I've studied the Documents of Vatican II very carefully. I'm not Catholic, but am drawn to the teachings & art a lot.

I'm even a bit more open~minded than that. I studied some Taoism, Buddhism, Gnosticism, Hermeticism, Vedanta, & such.

I dreamed, as a child, that I was a member of the 'Great White Brotherhood'. I didn't even know what that meant.

Sorry; I should be more lighthearted; not so serious. I actually fell off into listening to songs again. I went through about a thousand posts in favorites on YouTube the other night. I only have about 2600 left. They are not all songs, though. I was writing down a new list. I do have a fat folder of printed out lyrics already & an account on 'Let's sing it' which I condensed way down to about 400 songs.

I figured out that maybe my cough was due to cedar pollen. I saw a cloud of it outgassing from trees on the news. I've started watching a little news again. The news stays on with the sound off; but when I hear something of interest from upstairs, I look on the television downstairs.

01/16/2016 5:40am

I have been Catholic all my life and attended Catholic schools as well. I did teach literature at the University of Oklahoma, I taught the Bhagavad Gita which was a junior level course, the students loved it. Another semester I taught the Tao Te Ching also because of it's literature content. There is great wisdom in all the major religions of the world and there seems to be a common thread running through all of them. The one thing that has transformed my life was meditation, I learned TM when I was 15 because my aunt and uncle had been living in India with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi for the longest time. My background though is in science especially physics and mathematics, I have no passion for either but did get me a position with Noetic Sciences. All of these interest are meaningless unless I get myself back among the living, this last week I did get out of the house and did a lot. I feel myself gravitating in a more viable direction and I have a doctor friend coming to stay with me for a while to help me make these healthy choices into a habit as they once were. I have such a long ways to go as there is just too much stress in my life at this time, long story but it is coming to an end. I've not had success in areas involving matters of the heart so I have decided to not go down that road again. I hate feeling this way, anxious and a bit down because of the actions of another, I can't imagine anyone getting pleasure or what the reward is for hurting another. I just want out and to live a life of simplicity but around my friends and loved ones, I'm going before long to walk the Camino de Santiago Compastela. It will take me a couple of months to complete the journey but this is what I need. Love Bobby

Is that where Joseph of Arimathea sojourned, in Spain?

Or possibly did...

I'm sorry I've been standoffish. I've been hurt, too. It is difficult to overcome that sort of damage.

Have you seen my Pinterest walls on spiritual lineage, Kriyananda, Devananda, & Satchidananda? They were my teachers & friends.

It is difficult to overcome that sort of thing and irrespective of the nature of the hurt or pain we can't choose a path of not living. Life will knock you down and when you try to get back up it will knock the wind out of you, this is the nature of life and there is meaning and purpose behind it. We can't choose to be faint of heart and endure the missed opportunities that will provide greater happiness and well being. We have to have people to maintain our biological psychosocial needs that give us balance and the ability to circumnavigate our way around the proverbial land mines. No one wants to experience pain but it happens to all of us, no one gets out of life unscathed. My days of isolating are slowly coming to an end, staying home also takes a heavy toll on the mind and body. But don't worry about being standoffish, I understand and don't take it personally. Becoming a lawyer has given me a thick skin. I'm sure you will do what you need at the appropriate time.

I am not that tough. I have a measure of detachedness; but, I can get my feelings hurt by a stranger, even over the phone... at least, it has happened in the past. I've been looking back at the role models I admired, as a child. I was quite independant then; & in a decent state of mind. I'm actually trying to regress. LOL

I'm trying to not let you do that

Well; life was less complicated then.

it was for everyone

is it really complex now or do we get caught up in the distractions and illusions? There is no reality in our perceived issues.

that is why Einstein said that the external world was an illusion, although a most convincing one:)

I've overcome a lot of worry recently. I didn't know it could happen so quickly. I worried for a few years.

it is good to worry less, but it has to be followed by physical activity. Just as prayer and meditation have to be followed with right action

I need to go dancing. I used to hike a lot, looking for artifacts. Now I just talk about doing it sometimes. It hasn't been that long. But, that was rather secluded, away from society.

I truly understand Barbara, I have been doing exactly the same, just because I've gotten out a bit I talk like an expert:)

Do you want to go into the thick of the artifact area in Austin? I know where it is, but dare not go alone. These are large game tools. I haven't been to the Buttermilk Creek or Gault sites.

Yes I would love to go with you

It's good to go before Springtime kicks in & everything gets overgrown.

We will go and have a great time Barbara

The gault site is large & largely unexplored. They take a small area at a time & dig it out; using a climate~controlled structure over the pit. The stones get kind of heavy in the backpack. I use to carry 2 packs & come out with pockets bulging & making my pants sag... & my shirt wrapped around more. It is fun.

yes it sounds like it, my king of outing too

One day my friend kept urging me to stop & rest. I said I still had water left & kept going. I found out later it had been 107 degrees!

little sweetheart I'm going to go to bed but I look forward to talking to you later today.

Cool; I should turn in, too.

01/17/2016 1:09am

Hello precious Barbara

Hi; how's it going? I'm feelin' the Bern.

are you OK this evening?

I know that feeling sweetheart

I'm ok; just feeling a little sorry that I am ignoring Issac Rayappan; & not editing for him. English is not his primary language & he's trying to publish an English website. I've already done over 2 1/2 months of free editing & educational training consultation for him. He keeps throwing me more, saying nobody else will help him. I wish I could check him out for legitimacy. I don't wish to help him if he is a cheat. I think his Kenosis Foundation is all that he says it is, & does what he says it does; but I can't be sure

it really doesn't matter as your being taken advantage of. The fact that you would even wonder about his veracity for truthfulness and authenticity is a good sign that you need to let him find someone else to help. I'm only looking out for your best interest sweetheart

I do good work for him. My heart goes out to the women & children he is helping. It was rather strange when I viewed a video of him talking. There was a female co~worker of his who spoke, also. But the approximately 20 women who stood there, in 2 rows, not once cracked a smile. They even looked like they had trepidation or fear. It was a little creepy.

I get along with him fine, in messaging, most of the time. It is only if I question him very much, in a doubtful way, that he becomes a bit touchy & short with me. I believe in what the NGO publishes. It is sound. He wants me to help enable him to receive money. The organization is 2 years old & the Indian government requires a 3 year period before the org can receive funds. I don't want to participate in anything shady, especially if it involves money. I don't like deception.

He also seeks volunteers. I read a story which seemed to involve the org. A couple of people got lost in the jungle.

They were volunteers which share the expense of going there to work in the field.

He is supposedly an ex~priest, also.

I've had to insist on him not using the names of famous organizations, like Big Brothers Big Sisters without their express permission. He took it off of, at least, some of the written materials. He suggested I ask them. I told him I cannot speak or negotiate on his behalf. It is not proper procedure.

I understand that it is mainly women & female children, in the slums of India, which are deprived of opportunities for decent jobs, businesses, & education. But, his emphasis on girl children still concerns me.

He claims to prevent child marriages & youth being involved in 'adult vocations' or slavery. What if that is a cover for a 'ring' of situations which are exactly that?

It seems whenever I assist in something which seems very good, I come across creepy things? It was the same when I spent nearly 3 months searching for a lost passenger jet. I was losing sleep regularly, as usual, when I apply myself to work. I work just as hard as a volunteer as I would for a paid position. When I began hallucinating one night, I quit.

I'm not terribly serious, in person. I am an optimist & have a sense of humor. I'm not easily amused; but am jovial & can be lighthearted. I'm not trying to burden you with heavy realities. It just came out. I don't really have anyone to talk to like that. It's like a release.

I feel honored that you feel comfortable with me to speak about all sort of issues including those that are personal to you. You and I share an affinity sweetheart and it is good for us to share with each other. You'll soon understand that I love and care about you without any agenda, I love you just for who you are. Always you can share with me Barbara. I also share with you matters that are difficult to speak to others about. We are both having such a difficult time in our lives these days, I'm glad your in my life

Thank you. That is a touching sentiment. Don't worry; I've dealt with plenty of people who had problems. I have lived with alcoholics. I make a good poster child for Al~anon. I was offered wine earlier this evening. Politely, I took one small sip. Blech.

your such a sweetheart

I'd like to act more like the classic stars: That Girl, Audrey Hepburn, Sophia Loren, Shirley MaClaine, Barbra Streisand, & the like.

yes, I love those particular actors especially Audrey Hepburn. I think you can do whatever you put your mind too, I have begun to have such loving emotions for you Barbara, perhaps it is you are the only person I feel comfortable talking to. It is difficult for me to articulate what I feel, but I share do care about you so much

I feel like 'Georgy Girl' sometimes. If I dress too sexy, I get my butt grabbed. If I get too frumpy, I get a complaint. heh heh

Oh; I like Julie Andrews, too.

me too, sexy is good:)

i remember Georgy Girl and the music

when I say sexy is good I mean this is a respectful and admiring way toward you

It's cool. I like Doris Day, Sally Field, Sandra bullock...

yes I as well

Classic Actress Diva

Whoopi Goldberg


Lucille Ball

Did you see when Whoopi played a white man? The Associate, I think.

no I think I must have missed that one

Yeah; in a big business meeting, when the bigwigs finally got to meet the famed head of the company. She gave a short lecture, then unveiled herself . Ha Ha Ha


I've never been so fortunate to have a woman do that:)

unveil herself? She didn't take off her clothes.

oh, ok, I follow you

show were my mind is at

She looked like a white businessman; then revealed herself as a black woman.

I understand

It was hilarious.

yes it would be. we should go dancing

Yeah; what kind of music?

I would let you pick

It would be exciting for me because I know you dance well

I only really know how to 2~step with a tray of drinks, but can Cotton Eyed Joe a bit. LOL Waltz, Quick step, Jitterbug? I'm not trained in those, but would be fun to try. Strains of 'I could have danced all night' rolling through my mind.... I can breakdance a little, but the windmill can bruise the hips if not done to perfection.

wow, it sound exciting to be with you Barbara

I like the old industrial, post~modern style from the 80's & early 90's. It's fun to dance circles around people. Or, I could do a thoroughly Modern Millie, maybe.

awesome. lets go

The twist, the bump...

OH My God that sounds incredible sweetheart, I'm ready for us to go

I can belly~dance a little bit, if the music is right. I love to rollerskate.

oh my god Barbara, I will get any music you would like to see you belly dance. I've not seen that in person yet

I waitressed at an oldies club once. I wore a cheerleader outfit, got to hula hoop & limbo.

if i don't see you soon my entire body is going to self combust. You are the most exciting woman I have met

I am rather eclectic. But, I haven't been very exciting lately.

you will be to me for sure Barbara, promise

If I get animated, at even half of how my mother was, I get told to tone it down or that I'm overbearing.

So; I just shrink into Miss Doormouse.

i know but for the exception of where I will talk you. of course, I would love to see you belly dance or any sort of dancing for that matter

It used to be 20 hours a week for fun; or 5 or 10 hours, at least, if I was also working as a dancer.

oh god Barbara you must be good

I'm going to dream about you after my cold shower:)

I performed one ballet production, as a little girl. I shared the same stage at Memorial Coliseum in Corpus Christi as Tiny Tim, who sng 'Tiptoe Through the Tulips'. I wore a short orange red kimono with huge sleeves.

that is awesome too Barbara, everything is awesome about you

The last ballet I saw was 'The Firebird, this last year.

i want to take you to the ballot and the theatre

i'm just thinking about you

wishing you were here

I've seen 'Hair' twice, Jesus Christ Superstar twice... Well, it's not ballet, though. I've seen Westside Story & South pacific. I really like Rogers & Hammerstein musicals.

yes me too sweetheart, I'm feeling funky this evening wanting you to be here

funky is good?

yes it drives me crazy with you but is definitely good

I dreamed of about 5 tornadoes last night that were all up against each other, like a quintuple twister. They went around the house i was in, because I was optimistic about it.

yes you are, we are going to go out

I was a binge~eater for 17 years. It developed into a serious problem; but, I couldn't get anyone to help me, because I wasn't fat. They would just ask me if I made myself throw up. When I told them no, never; they'd say I didn't have a problem. But I really did. I could've given myself a heart attack, or something.

I would stand in the fridge until it frosted over; eating with both hands. If someone walked in, i would stop chewing, close it, & put my food~filled hands behind my back.

I never ever felt full until I was in pain. I was perpetually hungry with a HIGH metabolism.

That, & nursing 2 children at once, made me continue learning about nutrition... plus having worked in lots of health food store restaurants.

wow Barbara, that is so awesome

I like to just sit back and think of you Barbara

Don't worship me unless I deserve it. Ha ha; a line from a movie.

LOL, it's just to good to think about you

oh my god I wish you were here!

sorry sweetheart

The guy in India is messaging me.

So; it is not only what you sent already; but, you have emailed more to me? Couldn't you use the material I edited in the past? You had to write new text which says the same things? Did you get the chicken farm sheet done? yes, correct, but the content looks too much, so my team shortened the content , this is why, i had to write new. I have more content abut volunteering, which also needs to be edited. If you had to shorten it, then you could simply take some out, right? Did you get the chicken farm sheet done????????? what is all about you asing? Well, I don't remember editing the information sheet about chicken farming. I didn't mean 'shit'; I meant 'sheet' / 'page'. But, I thought maybe I did edit it. I couldn't remember. {LOL}

01/17/2016 3:44pm

you are such a sweetheart

Yea; haven't slept, mainly due to giving up my space to my son for the night.

you are the most precious woman I have ever met

I learned a new ice cream technique using dry ice pellets & a steel bakers sheet. It rolls up coiled ribbons of it, placed in a fancy ingredient edible bowl, then treated like a sundae.

awesome, I would like to try sometime

I have a feeling Barbara we will see each other soon

I just learned on videos from other countries. I'm looking up cold~tolerant moringa trees. My son just left after watching some football.

awesome Barbara

01/17/2016 5:56pm

do you think we should meet dear Barbara?

I think so. Did you see the post about James Twyman? I'm still shocked.


It's the 2cd on my wall.

i have been in the other room talking to Santi

I have a client in Serbia that wants to come to the US, that is not unusual but it is for someone so high in the government there to want to just come out of the clear blue

there is so much corruption in that part of the world, however no more than here, we just hide it better

That is interesting.

It looks like I'm going to have to go to Belgrade to get her here, I'm someone who hasn't been any further than 10 miles from my home the last 5 years

Wow; really? Is she fleeing the area?

yes and no but that is a good question

it is tantamount to fleeing her country but the US quit issuing asylum to Serbs

I'm sorry. That sounds challenging all around.

don't be sorry, it's not like I don't get paid a fortune

one day you ought to go with me, go with me when I visit family in Italy and Palermo

that would be good for you

Barbara, Italy is a place you can really dress sexy

no one will grab you either, except me:)

Ever since I began sightseeing on Pinterest, I have had the urge to travel. I've been to Paradise Island, Bahamas; Val Morin, Canada, Oaxaca & Mexico City, Antigua, Lake Atitlan & Guatemala City; the Caribbean & San Pedro Sula, Honduras; California, Ohio,New Orleans, Manhattan & Woodburne, Carolina Beach, Florida, Missouri, New mexico... Some of the places I stayed at least a month or so. I have ancestry from Italy from a very long time ago. Palermo is Spain? I have more recent ancestry from there; including San Fernando.

I even have lines to Kiev.

I just brought a woman over from Kiev who was the girlfriend of one of my son's friends,, she is here now and married

Saint Olga is the prominent link in my memory. I recall a Vladimir & a Tsar Alexander, I think. But, that wasn't Kiev, yet not far.


but not the Ukraine


but essentially the same

They came to Kiev from Scandinavia by the 6th century, I believe.

It was Czar Vladimir.

Saint Ferdinand III of Burgundy

King of Castile, Leon, Galicia, Toledo, Cordoba, Mercia

01/18/2016 3:16am

hello my sweetheart

01/18/2016 8:53pm

Maybe I was too rude to this guy who said I would be a perfect Plexus Ambassador. He wanted me to watch a video, My response...I'm not so interested in the business pitch & prefer to read the ingredients & quality controls. Then he said the video will explain about each product. So, I messaged back: Ok; I like organic non gmo; preferably from a wilderness area, wildcrafted; or a rainforest, sustainable; & always fairtrade, with minimal low heat processing. In the business sense; I am more apt to want an affiliate account. I never really liked mlm. Volcanic islands are great sources of minerals, also. Then, he sent the video. I listened, while looking up the product. Then messaged back: The video does NOT disclose ingredients or sources. I said I wasn't interested in a business pitch [or customer testimonials. I had to look it up, myself, just to find out some of the products or ingredients were banned from Amazon. Online testimonials were mostly complaints. I don't need to lose weight. I can't stand mlm tactics or business model. I'm sorry, but that was annoying.

added: There are great organic products on the market. Anything else I consider to be lower in quality & merely hype.

And this: I was familiar with most of the isolated constituents in the products, which are good ones. However; I like more perfect products.

01/18/2016 10:53pm

Try to go for small walks Barbara, that is what I'm trying to do. I'm going to go to College Station to stay with a kid I mentored, he is also my oldest son's best friend. I feel cared about and loved when I'm with him, something I really need at this time in life. I have a big library there to access as well as a gym, yoga and long walks. Barbara I have to get myself in better shape, my mind and thought process has become diminished with my isolation, I'm so out of balance. I'm going to do some things I haven't done but I have to get out. I will be thinking of you and hoping your making some small steps.

Actually, I went on a hike, in the woods by myself today! I brought back a big bag of crystalline geode~type rocks.

I used to like to hike along the small streams in College Station. My aunt & uncle & cousins lived there.

I've only been once but I'll stay a couple of weeks if not more, I'm going to change my routine

I have found myself relaxing about how i do things. I don't have to do things perfectly; but, simply to be at ease while doing them.

thats very good Barbara, I would feel at ease doing something as well if I did anything:)

I wish FB would quit trying to advertise to me things I already looked at on Amazon.

It feels like being spied on. It's a good thing i don't look at questionable goods there.

This guy in the Sahara wants me to make ads & a blog for his business. He leads camel tours. He said this, just now... then we u got clients they will email you then i can send you a programs then wehn u confirme the tour with them u will take ur part of money.

in morocco all is safe we never have anny problems then all the years we have tourisme thats coming

01/19/2016 12:16pm

Oops; hit the wrong symbol.

That's weird; when I entered this, it erased the wrong symbol. hmm

how are you today?

would you like to hold my hand someday and walk with me Barbara?


thank you, I promise you will like it

are you not talking to me?

I've had to scoop kitten poop out of the kava kava plant pot, unload some groceries & put them away... My friend was asking me about some kindling that disappeared from the fire pit. I said it was probably live coals he put upon. The news is on; occasionally distracting... I should drink some coffee, since I've been up since 1:30 pm yesterday.

yep, good idea Barbara

I had to file the images on the desktop & delete a few tabs, due to freezing up. I was doing a search in Google when I saw your message. I'd been asked a qestion I didn

't know the answer to.

I'm often asked why something or other, but, can't recall the details.

I hope you liked my message and I know it was a little personal

It was sweet.

I'm glad you think so Barbara, it was intended to be sweet. The feeling I have toward you are very sweet and loving

I had to respond to my only troll, who I went to Jr. High with. [or I would unfriend him, except he stays just short of personally offensive.]

lol, I understand

My friend keeps losing signal to his computer upstairs. We're trying to troubleshoot.

just remember that I want to see you sweetheart

I organized some of my things I have here to become more mobilized. I'm trying to contact my kid's ex so I can get my freezer cart out of his chicken shed. My bag of costumery is there, too; & most of my books.

I may be cut off when they cut the modem off... not sure.

I understand sweetheart

I'm behind checking my email.

well think about holding my hand and me giving you a beautiful hug

My troll just dropped me a link & woke me with the signal. Good thing; because I had nodded off sitting in my straight chair over a stone hard floor.

My sweetheart, you need to rest in my arms

He can tax the pot., start producing energy related goods for export, restructure some bureaucratic red tape, offer investment incentives, devise a barter system for certain industries, like education, I know; double our money by cutting every bill in half, LOL, phase out poor quality across the board... It is not my subject. I'm a renunciate; but it seems there has been so much in the way of voodoo economics that someone with half a brain could improve the yield at expanding efficiency. The wealthy need to be offered more incentives to join in the fun of a prosperous working class who know how to celebrate in a cooperative manner.

I'm not addressing you, Bobby; just something I wrote just now.

01/19/2016 11:21pm

yes that is a good idea Barbara, at least I don't have a hangover in the morning

thank you for being a precious friend to me Barbara, you have a loving and patient heart, I appreciate this in you. You like me in spite of myself, I haven't been me in a while but I have always possessed a loving and kind heart. I'm afraid to reach out to people when I'm in total darkness and fear permeates the fabric of my existence

My son just came by, woke me up, & left again. I feel disoriented & sleepy. I did a little yoga today. That;s a god sign. You don't have to feel sorry about being withdrawn. I think it is normal for the compassionate heart. Just because you're a man doesn't mean sensitivity is a weakness, either. Men need healing, too; just like women. We go through cycles that will change when we are ready. Think of it as an incubation period. I understand fear. This kitten thinks I'm her mother. But, I don't want her in my lap all the time. I don't normally keep pets. My Boston terrier I lost by the time I was 3 broke my heart.

love you Barbara

And hold out your hand To raise us up. Spirited light! on the edge of the Presence your yearning burns in the secret darkness, O angels, insatiably into God’s gaze. You, all-accomplishing Word of the Father are the light of primordial daybreak over the spheres. You, the foreknowing mind of divinity, foresaw all your works as you willed them, your prescience hidden in the heart of your power, your power like a wheel around the world, whose circling never began and never slides to an end. No creature has meaning without the Word of God. God's Word is in all creation, Visible and invisible. The Word is living, being, spirit, all verdant greening, all creativity. This Word flashes out in every creature. This is how the spirit is in the flesh—the Word is indivisible from God. Loving tenderness abounds for all from the darkest to the most eminent one beyond the stars... ~ Hildegard if Bingen ~

of Bingen

01/31/2016 6:09pm

I hope you are fine and have had a wonderful weekend Barbara

Is it the weekend? I don't keep up with it. I've been getting a lot more sunshine, listening to more songs, walking by myself in the greenbelt, being ever kinder, & doing more cooking & cleaning.

wonderful Barbara

I only got more sleep when we ran out of coffee.

lol, that happened to me last week too

My arm is finally getting better. I only dream of rollerskating or making a pair of stilts yet.

or going someplace with me:)

I haven't even walked down the street... only in the woods a couple of times; out the back gate. I'm braver than the young cat. One rooster crow & she bolts back to the house.

I could walk in the woods with you:)

Nice. The last time I went; I struggled back with a satchel of worked flint pieces I found near Whirlpool Cave, at Convict Hill. They are smaller than the ones across town [also south A.

well it would be fun to be with you Barbara, you just let me know when your ready and I'll be there

I'm slowly coming around to making a comeback. I talked to at least one person each time I was in the woods; a nice woman & a man with a child who wanted to look in my bag of flints. I'm collecting female glitter graphics to inspire me to 'bring sexy back'. I watched 2 Shakira videos today.

good for you, so then having me with you for a while should really bring a spark back into passion

I'm hoping it will make me want to sing.

thats why I will have my acoustic guitar with me sweetheart

The last song that got stuck in my head was 'Lion Sleeps Tonight'

I'm sentimental about the oldies.

Life was beautiful in the early sixties.

Barbara, the real truth of the matter is I am a take it easy and slow sort of guy, I joke a lot about this and that but what is important is we become friends. There is no expectations with regard to sex sweetheart, only to become friends. Things happen or don't happen in a natural sort of way where neither one of us would feel pressured to because intimately involved. There is everything to gain and nothing to loose by being a reasonable person and totally without expectations. I just wanted to tell you that because I joke sometimes in an inappropriate way, but it has been years since I had intimacy. It would be hard for me to jump into anything like that either. Being friends is what is important

yes it was Barbara, well said

Even the very atmosphere, itself, was different. Thanks for the reassurance. I actually go topless when I sunbathe. It doesn't bother my 2 friends here... or I wouldn't feel free to do it. It's even legal in Austin for women; as long as nobody takes offense.

I would never take offense sweetheart, it might accelerate the desire process but it is good that you can do that sweetheart

I became a naturist the first week, or so, when I moved here; from July 1st, '79.

your so awesome, I like you so much

i will be right back, my son needs me to pick him up. don't leave though, I love talking to you

Thanks. I think I will work at learning a few songs each day. The goal is about 500, though. At least, I know some of them, already. I'll be awake.

01/31/2016 10:55pm

well, if you ever want me to come see you please tell me

02/01/2016 12:27am

I mean we could just hang out a while

Ok; sorry, I' was hooking up an Austinite who's Social Media Strategist at Greater Austin For Bernie Sanders, Social Media Strategist at Women for Bernie Sanders 2016 and Social Media Strategist at Texas Women for Bernie Sanders... with the Bernie group of Abilene, which is her hometown. She's now added her extended family & volunteered to go there to plant Bernie signs in yards! The group had an obscure name. I had to find a guy in Abilene who was an activist for Bernie; & befriend him. It turned out that he was moderator of the group! She just asked to be my friend today & she's very pleased. That group needed our help, anyway. I joined it, too.

First, she mailed me a bumper sticker that says 'Billionaires Can't Buy Bernie'.

Very good

02/04/2016 5:57pm

hi sweetheart

Hi; how's it going?

not so well but I will somehow get through this

I'm on the quantum physics group page & as much as I've studied, I hardly understand a thing here.

That and law I can teach you

I work with a group of physicist everyday, they are the brightest particle physicist in the country

only tell me what area of quantum physics your wanting to learn and I will teach you

it sounds more complicated than it is Barbara

if it were that complicated a guy from the hills of Oklahoma would not understand, be able to teach or work in this area

Im a hillbilly

The starting place with quantum physics or a study of the micro world is the understanding that we can't use the Newtonian Methodology or Physics or Mathematics, it doesn't work. So we have had to develop a mathematical model based on the Superstring Theory that has thus far been viable. So the physics and mathematics are different based on math relevant to the superstring. Sub atomic particles don't behave as the planets or other matter in space which can be accurately predicted. However particles are involved in something that Einstein referred to as "spooky action", that is a given sub atomic particle might me here, there, everywhere and nowhere all at one time

so our mathematics is based on probability of where a certain sub atomic particle will be at a given time

the basics of quantum physics or commonly called modern physics is that particles don't behave as we originally thought

for example we always thought that the electron from an hydrogen atomic was always a particle, that is like a marble, made of substance

Physical, logistical, or mental that you're going through? I get a few things on here, marginally. I'm more into theory than technicality. I like grand unification theories, gravitational, time anomaly, trying to figure out data from waking visions, exploring possibility of awareness or affectation, brainwave states, natural law & universal constants, sacred geometry & phi / Phi, extrasensory perception & intuitive abilities, strange phenomena such as unusual 'powers' or magic, optics, angles, resonance, mirror neurons, pineal gland, heartwaves & chakras, dark or exotic matter, quintessence, analysis of mainly single digit numbers, aether or 5th element, fractal field...

well that is really good but you have to start at the basics in order to have the sort of understanding that is concretized in your brain

not hard to do at all, but when we start at the essence of this field it become infinitely easier to understand new theories and development including fractal time etc

I only took half of algebra II, then switched to consumer math because classtime was too quick & the teacher started going too fast. I actually loved algebra.

that doesn't matter

you won't use that sort of mathematics in quantum physics

however if you want me to teach you advanced algebra or calculus I'm willing

I can teach you from here

you don't even have to see me

so that will make it easier for you sweetheart

My father knows calculus & trigonometry. He's a senior chemist group leader. [retired]

well thats good sweetheart, but we are talking about you babe

Time baffles me because sometimes I'm precognitive. It can be minutes or up to 15 years. It can be in a dream, fully awake, or in semi~trance state. I have also had a number of obe's...

I have a memory, or 2, of space travel; & I don't mean wormholes, which I suspect I've also experienced a few times.

I've only seen a ghost twice quite distinctly, that I'll never forget. What's really weird is that one of those times it was me. At different times, 4 others saw that same ghost.

A few people have actually claimed that I have been invisible, on occasion.

Time does not work the way we perceive it, our perception of time is a function of our perceptions, our perceptions are a function of our environment, parents, teacher and all those involved in our training before our subconscious is in tact, we are literally taught how to perceive time although it flies in the face of all science and physics

I really startled them when I spoke & suddenly appeared. My mother had obe's at will... not me.

time is not linear

I suspected as much.

everything that will happen has already happened including your life in it's entirety

thats why physicist make jokes about time like Einstein, he said the reason we have time is so everything doesn't happen at once

I've read up on the plane of Sharon, zero point, akashic field stuff.

yes the akashic record or field, zero point energy are interesting to study, however it does require a certain place to start in the endeavor to understand this more abstract science

Synchronicities are fun.

They are usually triple.

that is word created by Carl Jung, a word that gave a little more deterrence than serendipitous


I knew someone who could reiterate advanced physics concepts, but had trouble accepting the unusual, so was fearful of synchronicity.

why sweetheart?

So, we just stuck to black holes. LOL

He was distrustful; highly agnostic, & over~analytical.

11 years of college

I have an enquiring mind; always have.

its ok to keep your head in the clouds as long as you keep your feet firmly planted on the ground

I worked on finishing touches to my formulas today. I cycle through subjects.

vert good babe

Greg Braden was in Austin not long ago, you would love him

I've enjoyed a few of his writings. I really like really liked reading Dan Winter's sites.

yes interesting

I'm not fully aligned with his way of thinking.

even more importantly when are we going to get some sun together and you take off your top:)

kidding sweetheart

Hang on; I'll fetch a hot photo.

that would be wonderful

Barbara Kim Thigpen added a new photo.

Barbara Kim Thigpen

it didn't come through sweetheart

I have it hidden. I'll try something else/

ok sweetheart

Just kidding


you have a good sense of humor Barbara

so beautiful Barbara

really beautiful

i hope you find the other too sometime, but your very beautiful

I did not realize you were that sexy Barbara

you look like an angel

This one is younger.

you are incredible

amazing Barbara, your absolutely beautiful

Barbara I don't think I had any idea how beautiful you are


I love you Barbara

now that is the essence of beauty

I have been kidding around with you for a long time about seeing me, getting you out, now I know why you might be more hesitant, there are likely many who would like to go out with you. Your just so very beautiful, I'm so glad that I have taken the time to be your friend Barbara, if I had known you were this beautiful I might have taken a different approach:) Like I should have begged you:)

That's very funny.

yes but so true:)

now I feel nervous writing you:)

my fingers are shaking

don't... I look more like a hag now. The most recent ones were in the black dress with gold / silver on the front, wearing boots. That was a year ago.

you don't look like a hag, besides it wouldn't matter, your my friend and I love you. Always we will be the best of friends, always

so beautiful Barbara


now that is very sexy Barbara, where have you been all my life:)

an angel you are

I wish I could simply put my arms around you and give you a big hug

I need to get you out a little Barbara, I want to take you to the movies or just walk around

I will be back, going to eat sweetheart

02/05/2016 1:02am

First and foremost Barbara, I'm your friend above all. You can always count on me for anything, I've been going through such a difficult time but I know it will pass. Love Bobby

02/06/2016 7:00pm

Thank you so much for the the information on Matt Kahn, he is a beautiful speaker and iterates the truth with graces and a humble spirit. I am now a fan of his Barbara all because of you. Again thank you so much, his message regarding the holographic nature of reality and how we create and give too much consideration to illusions is marvelous. Of course Barbara your marvelous too. Thank you sweetheart.

02/06/2016 10:02pm

It was the first time I had heard of Mr. Kahn. After reading several long messages of his, I knew he had great wisdom to offer. Such insightfulness is rare, even among a wealth of wonderful writers who have been generously sharing such loving writings with the world. I just watched the GOP debate. I think this one & the last one have sealed my choice for the nominee; which would be John Kasich. However; I'm not a Republican. I'm a left~leaning centrist Green.

02/07/2016 12:33am

I am in agreement with you regarding your choice, i used to attend Libertarian seminars at one time. But I do like your choice in speakers and writers thought. Thank you.

I say John Kasich won the debate tonight.

& the 7th one, too.

I getting ready to go back to College Station and spend the next month or so there, this will afford me the time to finish my book.

I thought you were there already.

I came back to visit my youngest son who flew in from Utah

I wish I had not come back:)


yeah you don't know just what a real bummer it was

I'm so, so sorry. I've been disoriented all day.

thats ok, I've been looking for excuses to leave my home and be elsewhere. It's a long story but my situation here has resulted in the most extreme form of stress to the extent that my kidneys tried to shut down. I have three doctors who write me each day and give me my marching orders so I will continue to move forward. The first order of business is for me to get back to College Station, I never knew that life could be so miserable where there is no more passion or interest in anything. Where I isolate and never answer the phone, emails or messages, I've never experienced this sort of pain before. Someday I will explain it to you but just don't want to relive it at this moment. I've been successful all my life for the exception of the last few years, I have had no energy and am always fatigued. My friends intervened and have gotten me back on the path, but I'm still so rattled and in shock that I need help in determining what to do next

Well; we all have problems at different times & everyone needs help sometimes. I'm the opposite in the career thing. Stripping was a job, not a career. There was never any advancement or promotions; not even any pay. I always had to pay the clubs up to 25 dollars per shift. I never realized I would be having to raise 3 of my grandchildren; & under limiting conditions. So; 3 children, then 3 of 4 grandchildren. I'm left with NO resources. I have to inspire myself daily. Today I had to do another self~surgery on my hand, removing cactus. It wasn't fun; but better than when I had to do it up to 40 hours per week. Now its only up to 4. last week & 2 this week. I'm thrilled I'm past the risk of losing my finger or hand. That's looking at the bright side. You have to do that. The dark side has nothing to offer.

It's like the frog in boiling water, someone had to rescue me out of the darkness because we can be so acclimated that we don't see the danger we are in.

I certainly understand the concept. Been there; done that. You can start a fun business with me if you want to. There need be no high pressure anything in it. No deadlines, no quotas, & such. We could pick up my ice cream freezer cart. I have enough money to make it legal. But, I don't have a way to haul it. I had thought I could sell products from other companies at a food trailer court until I have the money to manufacture my own line. I could even make a video for crowdfunding in the process. A small vintage trailer would be fun, too; but not necessary. If I had a pickup I would already be doing it. Or, I could skip direct selling, manufacture the products somehow, & simply promote them, hand out samples, & dance to ice cream songs. I don't know what else to do.

We need to find you a pick up

My cart is in an old chicken shed.

Oops; didn't mean to bump that icon.

I see

The flashing lights work. It's a commercial Colorpoint freezer... very high quality. I paid 475 dollars for it, but the freezer alone is worth 1200, used.

without the cart

i would like to talk with you about this Barbara, your one of my favorite people. I need to go play xbox with my nephew real quick, then I will be back. I would like to hear more

My friend said I had put the cart before the horse, couldn't put it in his garage because I shouldn't have bought it. Ok; have fun.

02/09/2016 1:33am

I miss you Barbara, how are you?

lets get your business going

Hi. I was just miring myself in ancestry history in the early 1800's.

interesting Barbara

My arm hurt a lot yesterday. I was overtired & my son & his girlfriend were on the couch [my bed] watching football. Then she gave me an arm massage & it's better today.

Oh sweetheart I am sorry your arm hurts, I would give you an arm message too. I just want you to always be a hundred percent

Oh my god Barbara, I didn't know you were so beautiful until you sent me your photos, I was so impressed just how lovely and sexy you are. Your a beautiful woman

I found the son of a guy I worked for when I was in high school & invited him to be my friend. [even if I was doing receiving & selling diamond rings, but making only 1.85 per hr. I found someone else I went to high school with & invited his friendship. I told him I had a crush on him in 10th grade. He said, 'You should've told me. I remember having feelings for you. LOL

That I can easily believe, I would have had feeling for you as well Barbara, I have feelings for you today

Very young there

so beautiful, I wish I had met you before I ended up making two mistakes

you look like and angel

I think after spending time with you it would be easy to fall in love with you

I wasn't. My mom must've been pulling her hair out worrying about me. I was very independent before I was forced into marriage & was beaten for at least 4 years.

I so sorry, I wish I could have helped you circumvent all of that

I got out in 1984, but the physical abuse didn't stop until '85.

I would have been a good husband to you, and my heart's capacity for love would have expanded

I had his child in Sept, '81.

that is sad Barbara, we both have been traumatized in life, however it seems a miracle that I met you

I didn't get my divorce settlement. He just kept causing me to fail for years by manipulation.

to bad I wasn't your friend and lawyer at that time my precious angel

I tried to get legal aid a number of times. They always told me, 'Sorry, he makes too much money. You don't qualify.' State would never pick up charges back then, either. I dropped charges a number of times, due to being threatened.

you needed a lawyer that knows how to stop that sort of intimidation in an effective manner

I wish I had of known you Barbara

He went on to become a millionaire. Last I heard, he got married to a Panamanian; his 5th wife] & moved to Panama.

well hopefully he is happy there, but if he was not happy before he arrived in Panama, he will not be happy in Panama

I know. He may have run one of his ex~wives off the road [she died]. The vehicle matched the description of his, but there was no proof. I knew I had to play it safe.

I've been a millionaire many times over but the last couple of years I have been so unhappy. I have discontinued my pursuit for money, property and prestige and simply work with young people. I'm going to build a Boy's Town in the Woodlands but it will remain a home environment and not institutionalized

I quit being afraid of him about '98; the year my mother died.

I'm glad he is out of your life little sweetheart

That's when our daughter was 17.

wow sweetheart

It wasn't too long ago that he gave her a job stocking his vacation homes. He promised her a lawyer [didn't happen] He was not in Texas at the time, so I was helping her for free. That was weird.

there is something about people that don't follow through, they have a total disregard for the feelings of others including their own children. They are simply unstable and never seem to find what they are looking for but do wreak havoc in the lives of others

02/09/2016 3:31am

2 of her children have been released to their fathers, by the state; but the oldest is still in foster care. I can't pass their vetting process. I had been helping her with the kids until the eldest one's father came back to Texas. She rented out my room & kicked me out. A couple of weeks later, she brought the little one to me [who had previously lived with me for 4 years. She had a fever. I'm the one who can cure a child in a day or 2; which I did. I was going to take her to my other daughter's place. Then her father, who had always rejected her, came to the door with the cops. They told me, 'Don't put her down or let him hold her.' I said ok. But, I let him hold her hand. I had never denied her visiting with him; but he would ask to bring her back early... like after 2 hours; & thrust her into my arms, saying 'she's evil'. He seldom wanted to see her. He had previously bitten my daughter real bad & had limited visiting rights. his girlfriend was a 'guardian'. Anyway, the very next day, when the child was well enough to be around my other daughter's son [m, I was going to take her there. but, my other daughter was hung up at the dentist with her son... so I was waiting for her. Then the child [my grand~daughter's mother called me & said if he father came to the door not to answer it. She sounded distraught & hung up abruptly. A minute or so later, I very aggressive knock on the door like someone angry... so, I grabbed my purse & wrapped her in a blanket & headed out the back door & through the greenbelt. I borrowed a phone from someone sitting in their backyard. They were still at the dentist. I went into the neighborhood, to someone's door & borrowed their phone. My other daughter told me the cops were looking for me; so I went into someone's yard where this lady was sweeping her driveway. I had sat down in a chair in the middle of her yard trying to catch my breath & tell her what was happening. She accused me of kidnapping the child. I said, no, I'm her grandma. My daughter brought her to me. About that time, a helicopter went over. She waved her arms at it & pointed to me. Then a few cop cars pulled up & CPS took her from me. I had left her shoes next to the couch, but had carried her the whole way. I hadn't slept because I had been watching her constantly while she was sick. My mouth was so dry I could barely speak. I had a small bottle of water, but wasn't drinking any because I was only giving the water to her. It was CPS & the cops who had beaten upon the door. I knew one of my 2 friends who were there would answer it. Well, they had. I wasn't even living there at the time. I was there receiving packages of tea & supplements I had ordered for my son who was having migraines from an impacted wisdom tooth, actually 2 of them. So, I got handcuffed & read my rights. When I was asked if I had any questions, I said 'Yes; why am I being read my rights?' I was only told i was being taken back to my friend's house, at that point. Then, at the curb there, I was mouth~swabbed. The lady said 'It's negative.' About then, 2 cops had come out of the house carrying 2 grow lights & a few scraggly plants. The other lady said 'Well; maybe there's a trace of marijuana'. Then they jumped in front of me, got right in my face, & excitely said 'Don't lie to us. Have you smoked marijuana recently?' I said 'Yes; but it was before the child got here.' I had smoked several days earlier, but had stopped so I could care properly for a sick child. They had found her shoes, then searched the house for her. The plants were in my friend's closet upstairs. He didn't get arrested; nobody did. He owns his home & is in his mid 70's. What happened was that the oldest child's father had tried to get my daughter in trouble because he knew it was the only chance of getting his 13 year old daughter back. He had lost the last 2 custody battles to my daughter. Anyway, in the process of trying to get her in trouble, he got mouth~swabbed & it showed up meth. My daughter was working that day & had left them in his care, plus one or 2 of her friends who were also there. They took the 2 older girls; 13 & 8. The 5 year old one was with me. They were coming to get her when I had thought it was her father who had nearly beat the door down. There was a mobile home on the property where she was staying at the time, plus a 5th wheel & a small house with a hole in the ceiling. There was a composting toilet, but the only running water was that contained in the 5th wheel. There was a ton, or 2, of water in giant containers, also. There were a couple of large buckets with toilet seats, that had wood shavings in them. Yes; it was primitive, to some extent, but we had gone there when Ebola had come to Dallas, so, we went out to the country to get out of Austin. My daughter was into a lot of permaculture projects, as well, & wanted to teach a class in it. It was actually a nice property of 3 acres, but to turn on the water would have required digging under the road & installing a meter. It was going to cost over 3000 dollars. We were going to my daughters's best friend's house at least twice a week to take showers; & sometimes stayed there for weeks at a time. It was that friend of hers who owned the 5th wheel, where we had hot water; but were mostly conserving it for dishwashing, where we had indoor sinks & a large outdoor one. The outdoor water nozzle doubled as a shower. We had complete cooking facilities in 2 of the dwellings, plenty of organic foods, too... all the time. The children were taken at the end of March. I never took another drag of pot. I had already qit for close to 4 months until February. My daughter got mouth~swabbed & it was positive for THC. She also hasn't had a drag since; nor has the middle child's father or the youngest one's father... as far as I know. [or I doubt the 2 children would have been released to them recently] My daughter has been randomly tested ever since; at least twice a month. I haven't been tested. They said I ran away from them. [but I didn't even know it was authorities at the door.] The previous day, when the cops had come, they knocked in a normal way. I had answered the door; no problem. My daughter has tested clean every time; but she has one more hearing to go to. I went with her a number of times to visit the younger children at an office in San Marcos. I helped her move out of that property, also. She got 3 jobs & a shared apt. She made sure the college student she rented with was not a pot smoker & had no record. She has worked long hours. I kept her apt clean so she could. They tell us that her oldest daughter [now 14; the middle one now 9] doesn't want to see anyone & they weren't going to force the issue. It's scary; though, because they showed her a picture of the girl with a black eye & said she had fallen on the bleachers at school; but that it was after school. She had little smiley stickers all over her face. None of us has seen her since then. The younger kids say she's fine, though. Her father ran off, I think. I really don't know. His 2cd & 3rd wife had divorced him before he returned to Texas. Please forgive me for telling my sad story. I raised all 3 of the girls until each was at least 5 or 6/ I miss them so much. I think only the youngest has been taken off the case. The middle one will be, I think, pending paternity test. The youngest one always called me Mom. She's just like my mother was; even looks like her.

02/10/2016 3:39am

I love when you share with me Barbara different aspects of your life, I find it very easy to become close to you and I feel blessed that you crossed my path. I read what you wrote and we will talk about it, thank you for having the confidence in me to share. Your really a wonderful woman Barbara, I look forward to communicating with you again. Love Bobby

02/10/2016 1:20pm

Yikes; I'm glad I didn't freak you out. It really wasn't my fault all that happened; but, I have to feel guilty about not doing something about it.

02/10/2016 5:39pm

sweetheart, your golden, you have a beautiful heart

Thanks. It hardly gets me anywhere. I'm so tired of editing for illiterate people.

02/10/2016 8:56pm

It gets you further than you may realize, there are those souls who are evolved and loving, those who reach out and make a difference without any agenda. There are many like this who are more aware and can see clearly who you are. From my perspective you have grown up with some real obstacles and challenges but you stepped up to the plate and dealt with each head on. For me, this is a winner, someone who has character and integrity, if I can easily see this so can many others. It is important not to let yourself be used, like myself you can be vulnerable to those that purportedly need us, I have lacked the discriminative thinking skills to know the difference between the good, the bad and the ugly. However over the last few years I have become acutely aware and cautious of those who might want to use me, especially women for financial reasons. It makes more sense to meet someone I don't know and who doesn't know me, if they like me as I am then that is a favorable thing. You have always been so kind and loving to me, I appreciate that Barbara. Love Bobby

Thanks very much for that note of confidence. Sometimes I feel just like a ghost & like my stores & websites are ghost towns. I'm not a gold~digger & never respected women like that. Being a dancer, I met plenty of them. I would never lie to guys like they would, or play them. I was determined to make it without selling out. When I quit that job, it was because I reached a point wherein I was putting more money into doing the job than I was getting from it. Not a convenient way to retire; but if your already dancing around the room for free, who would give you money to stay in one spot? LOL I'm just not a hustler. That didn't help with my crowdfunding campaign on Give Forward; even though it was not likely the most appropriate venue, it being for medical emergencies. I couldn't ask anyone personally to donate; so I got a whole 25 dollars. Tell you what, though; I was so grateful for it. 1000th of the goal was at least something, looking better than a big zero. It showed that at least it worked. I'm excited to find a FB community called A Secret mission for the King. That's what I'm looking at.

02/12/2016 1:34am

Barbara you deserve the confidence and you have done very well. I already know you are the opposite of a gold digger, you are my friend which is wonderful. I feel safer with you than any woman who already knows me. I'm back at College Station where I can focus without any drama or stress. I hope you are doing well sweetheart. Bobby

I hyperextended my arm trying to catch a tipping chair the cat was on. It was quite painful. The cat was attacked last night by another cat. She was bleeding a little & a real mess. Have you ever tried to bathe a hurt cat? She got away in about 8 seconds.

no little Barbara I have not, but I can only imagine as cats are not cooperative even under the best of circumstances. I'm so sorry your cat was hurt and even more sorry that you extended your arm. I have done that before and yes it hurts a lot.

She's not my cat. It's my daughter's. She's a big kitten that looks kind of Siamese. She thinks I'm her mother.

Awww, well I can see why she would want you to be her mother, you have a loving heart

I got some sun today. My son came by. She always wants to sit in my lap & purr. One night I dreamed I was pregnant. When I woke up she was asleep on my belly, all curled up.

that is so cute, much like yourself

I cried when I woke up. I realized I'm not that young. I wrote a poem about it. You can find it if you scroll down far enough. It was right after the previous Democratic debate. I watched one tonight.

I'm so sorry Barbara, next time you feel sad remember to call your friend Bobby, 832-246-9753. I'm always here for you

The debates don't sadden me; except for the replays & commentaries that invaded my dreamstate when I failed to turn off the TV. I thought I was in a parking lot in Flint, Michigan & Bernie was speaking there. Everybody was being so disruptive. LOL It's the primaries that stress me out.

The adoring soul, expanding under divine influences, may receive within it the " pearl of great price," like the sea-shell, which, opening to the silent dew, falling from heaven everywhere, engenders the delicate white pearl

I wish I could give you a soft romantic kiss and put my arms around you Barbara

Naked, I wait thy Love's uplifted stroke! My harness, piece by piece, Thou hast hewn from me And smitten me to my knee; I am defenseless, utterly. {Just kidding}

so utterly steaming hot, beautiful

It's supposed to be holy surrender, silly.

yes but I'm a man and a hillbilly too


crackin cold ones, puttin in a dip and hollerin YEE YEE!

You dip?

You might be a redneck.

i might be a redneck if I graduate from grade school with my saon


If the only compliment I can give to my high school prom date is "hey, nice tooth"! I might be a redneck

if the last words spoken by my best friend was "hey fellers, watch this" I might be a redneck

If I crack a couple of cold ones and want to see something naked, I might be a redneck

Reminds me of this Texan on YouTube explaining the difference between a Louisiana milksnake & a coral. He was playing with them.


Pearl of Great Price: Our Only Hope (5th Sunday Ordinary B)

Barbara the site you sent me too is absolutely beautiful in form and especially in substance. Who ever wrote the blog possesses a certain measure of wisdom and understanding of the scriptures, the photo of Fr Fuan is amazing. In fact Barbara, you are amazing and I thank you. Love Bobby

02/12/2016 6:04pm

I thought you might like it. I only read that one page; but, saw that the guy had wisdom. It was the image of Jesus that made me look at the blog. I saw it in image search. I'm not Catholic; but I can appreciate some of the blogs & lots of the art.

I did like it a lot, I read the blog and it was wonderful

It was a nice drawing, too.

It was a drawing of a priest Fr Fuan

by him or of him?

of him

02/13/2016 12:13am

I wish I was with you this evening

What are you writing?

the name of the book is "Born in the Arms of Imaginary Friends"

interesting title

it is about me but I'm writing in the 3rd person and making it a fiction

I may write a nonfiction & call it fiction. I guess that's an objective view to the self; 3rd person.

how are you doing Barbara?

I got sunshine today. I dragged the picnic table out from under the spreading fig. [too much shade] I scrubbed off the bird droppings a few times, threw a towel on it, stuffed my skirt into the crotch, & sunned in the buff. It was nice. [no ants]

Oh My God Barbara, how I would love to have sunned in the buff with you. I have never done that but with you I would feel comfortable, that is if you invited me:) I'm sure you look really great today Barbara, today was a good day for that.

I tried to work my arm loose... saw stars once; the tiny silver ones in front of the eyes. Reminds me; the moon was just visible high in the sky.

yes I have seen those stars before, please take good care of your arms Barbara. There are some good books I could read to you and you to me while sunning, I need to get some sun as well.

Of course; everyone needs a natural source of vitamin D3.

but I'd come closer to getting it if I was with a friend like yourself, I don't like to sit out by myself

It can do a lot toward getting healthy. There aren't many annoying flying insects around yet.

yes your right Barbara

The other day I did have to grab a net & scoop out a lot of bees which had somehow ended up in the swimming pool. I saved most of them.

I wish you'd come to College Station to see me

You might want to rent a place in, or very near, to Austin. The Springtime is a very fun time here.

yes it is, I love Austin, come pick me up:))

I need to renew my driver's license & I have no car. I do have a perfect driving record for 27 years.

well, that is something to brag about. I've just been exercising a lot, played basketball today and my back hurts:)

I don't break traffic laws; that's why... UNLESS it is for safety purposes. I've forced a long line of cars over to the shoulder of Lamar Bd. to allow an ambulance to get through quicker. I made it around the corner & ducked into a parking lot just in time not to slow it down myself. It turned on Barton Springs Rd.

I used to do donuts on the beach. I was a little crazy; but I like a speed limit of 55. 60 mph is perfect for gas conservation.

Did you stretch out to warm up your muscles first?

no I didn't Barbara, that might have something to do with it

You can call me Kim. Everyone I know does.

You look like a Kim, good

I need to take some advil

Kim, I have had some difficulty sleeping lately, has this ever happened to you?

My mom was Barbara Gail. My sister's middle name was Gail; so we shared names, but went by different ones.

I see, that sounds logical

I like Alleve best. I never go to sleep until I can't stay awake. But, I have no trouble staying asleep until I've had enough.

do you ever stay up all night?

All the time!

If I stay awake all the next day, too; that's when i go to sleep at a 'normal' time & wake up earlier than usual... or have a nice hibernating sleep.

I'm doing that a lot Kim and stay up in the daytime too, but then doing it a second night

it's crazy

When I had young grandchildren with me, I kept normal hours.

Do you drink coffee?

yes but not much the last few days

only one big cup

Drink it more slowly or divide it into 2 doses, putting hours between? Or, switch to Yerba mate' tea. It comes in loose, bagged, or instant. It has a full spectrum of nutrients. Coffee is a powerful drug.

Thats funny, I brought Yerba Mate Tea with me but haven't tried it yet

It's not bad; but, not the greatest tea for flavor.

It has a more level sustaining effect; without the ups & downs.

There are other drinks which can be substituted, as well. You don't even have to use one with caffeine to get a similar effect.

Just don't go 'cold turkey' off caffeine & get a headache.

The body adjusts it's responses to caffeine, just like any drug. It doesn't readjust instantly.

yes your right Kim, I will be right back, I'm going walking with my friend. He runs a tight ship and I'm either walking or in the gym


I did go cold turkey off of ice cream and pressed foods

A quotation from the Book of Wisdom "Doctrix disciplinae Dei, et electrix operum illius" [She is the teacher of the knowledge of God, and the chooser of His words]

yes Kim, such a good quote

Wind / Spirit / Wisdom

do you want to go to the yoga festival they have in Austin this summer?

You can eat all the ice cream you want, without any guilt; if you help me make my recipes. I have learned many ways to make ice cream. The simplest might be to use a steel plate & make it instantly into scrolls. Yoga festival sounds good. I used to be a substitute teacher for hatha yoga classes. I took over the elderly coed class.

than the Yoga festival it is, I will send you the information. I would love to help you with your recipes

I was trained by Swami Vishnu Devananda; student of Sivananda. Also, a little training by Satchidananda, his friend. I shopped at his health food grocery in Manhattan. Then, I got child education & yoga training by Kriyananda, student of Yogananda.

Yes I love Paramahansa Yogananda

Autobiography of a Yogi

Have you looked at my Pinterest wall on him? I read that book several times.

yes I it is a wonderful book

I have the 2 hardback version of the Bhagavad Gita by Yogananda.

yes, i used to teach the Gita at Oklahoma University while teaching literature

Funny; I used to compare 2 of my grand~daughters' photos to a few photos of Yogananda & Yukteswara because they were strikingly similar.


Have you seen the walls?

no, tell me where to go

Shall I post them on your wall, or mine; or message them?

you can put on my wall

I added some pins just now on Satchidananda. Do you like Nithyananda?

I have a wall for him, too.

02/13/2016 6:24am

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02/14/2016 1:20pm

Happy Valentine's Day Kim!

02/14/2016 8:14pm

Kim, I love the images so very much, they are beautiful. I wish I could give you a nice hug today sweetheart.

Since 3pm I've been doing genealogy for another Thigpen. I don't know him, but he & his wife live in Austin; & he has mutual friends from my high school. I've taken his father's parents lines back to 1700; both of them. Thanks. Did you see the one on your timeline? Now, someone in Smytheville wants me to research his brick wall. He's also from Corpus Christi.

It's amazing that you know how to do that Kim, I'm truly impressed. I loved the one on my Timeline as well, it was inspiring:)

I'm so addicted to research, it's ridiculous. After watching the GOP debate, I had to retreat into history to find peace.

That is a wonderful place to find solace Kim, it exercises your mind and expands your capacity for thought and expression. Your a very smart woman as well as pretty.

Thanks. I've gotten really fast at chores so I can study. I spent 2 days getting no sun.

I know, you have to wait for me on the sun:)

Sometimes I sleep in the sun or brainstorm on paper. I was on the Applied Sacred Geometry wall when I found out, yesterday, that my FB friend moderator was father to the son of Shirley MaClaine!

that is outstanding and interesting

The group has over 20,000 members.

thats a large group Kim

He doesn't tolerate trolls.

yes I can imagine

I will leave a group that does, if aware of it.

I'm a consultant to the moderator of the group in which I am the main contributor.

There are about 300 members.

unfortunately I'm not really part of any group

well, except the Aspen, Colorado group

It's called 'The Hidden Lineage of Jesus & Mary Magdalene'.

sounds like an interesting group Kim

You can join it if you like.

thank you Kim

Do you like Yoga?

She's a gay author. I used to like it a lot. I don't do much nowadays. I have taught it before.

Do you like Nithyananda?

they have some yoga activities in Austin every year. Yes I do

I have a Pinterest wall of him.

OK, tonight I will find it

I've got hundreds of walls. Name your subject; might have a wall on it.

Yogananda has an excellent two volume interpretation of the Bhagavad Gita

I have the 2~volume hardback set, & the box.

your the only woman i have met that has that, probably one of the very few who knows what the Gita is

It was a gift from a devotee. We used to be best friends... a very long time ago. I've read several versions.

I read only part of the Rig Veda.

your amazing, with the passing of time I am becoming more and more aware that we posses an affinity for the most substantive aspects of living. Also I feel closer to you as well

I have studied Yukteswara, Lahira Mahasaya, Babaji Krishna...


now I'm really amazed Kim, I'm speechless for the first time in many years

I studied many interesting persons. One of my fascinations is Saint Germaine. I get caught up in world mysteries a bit too much, though.


As a child, I wanted to be a scholar, but thought it required special tutors.

I have a lot in common with you Kim, you have been a wonderful friend to me and non judgmental. I'm staying at College Station now with a 24 year old young man I mentored since 16, he has taken such good care of me. He shows a love for me that is greater than the aggregate of my children and former companion

I was a straight A student until the 9th grade.

well, whatever happened in the 9th grade was something you needed to experience

I'm glad he does; but of course, for you have taught him. A prophet is little respected in his own family. I don't mean like a soothsayer, That doesn't define it.

I started skipping school some to party with my friends & smoke weed.

& go to Padre Isle

that is normal Kim, look at you now

I'm dysfunctional in society now.

I'm a renunciate.

I like you just the way you are Kim

I think I started getting that way while reading lots of Hesse books.


That was the first one.

Demian / Narcissus & Goldmund, Steppenwolf, Magister Ludi...

I wish I could put my arms around you in the most loving and pure way

I'm crazy about the Glass Bead Game.

so you experienced the love and caring

I want to design Castalia.

like myself you like to read Kim, but you read books that facilitate a greater understanding and insight about life

I was reading Castaneda as a teen; & Tao of Physics & Neuropolitics at 19.

yes Castaneda was interesting

I kind of liked Michener.

I recently read the Tao of Physics with Santiago

Cool. I have about 400 books in the FB list, not many on GoodReads, but maybe a couple of thousand on my GoogleBooks account... or more. I haven't read them all.

I have so many book cases in my home, you wouldn't believe, I have not read all of them either

one moment

03/27/2016 1:11pm

Happy Easter and God's Infinite Peace to you and your blessed family Barbara

Thanks, Bobby! One of my kids was here; but just left to work. She kicked me off the couch before daylight, because she couldn't stretch her legs sleeping on half the couch. I wish the grandkids could be here. When I'm not campaigning for 'Birdie Sanders or designing medicinal candy bars on paper & stocking my wishlist, I'm reading & looking at holy art. I've got a few hundred posts on the Hidden Lineage of Jesus & Mary Magdalene group. How's the book coming along. I've learned a lot more about politics, even foreign relations. The trolls have been out, in force, on the net. I deal with them on Bernie groups sometimes... like last night. There were 545 comments [in 40 minutes] on a trolls stupid post about trump. It was vicious. I finally was able to alert one of the 6 moderators, right at midnight. Those trolls wouldn't listen to me, especially the one who made the post. Someone asked; who's this chick [me] who's trying to spoil our fun?

03/28/2016 2:04pm

I love you and miss you Barbara, I'll be in Austin this week, I have to turn in my application to take the Texas Bar Exam.

03/28/2016 8:01pm

When will you be here?

03/31/2016 2:22am

i will be there next week and not this week


I'm so sleepy; caught up in activism.

well babe, you should probably sleep


04/02/2016 3:28pm

Barbara Barbara my darling Barbara, where fore art thou my fair maiden?

I am here, as always; Where art thou, prithee kind sire?

Tis written, Shaman Bob is going to be making an appearance in your fair city, me thinketh is would be a grand time for us to see each other and visit fer a spell

Whence would it be? I like Shakespeare's poetry a great deal; yet his history is trash.

I'm thinking which I don't do a lot is sometime the next week, not this week but the nesxt

He messed up lots of my ancestors' biographies. That sounds cool; will look up 'Shaman Bob'.

Yes, you can just call me Bob

Sorry; didn't catch that. LOL

There is a rule of thumb about literature and that is not to accept facts about culture, events or history as being real, because it is through the narrow perspective of a given author

It's difficult to change the perspective of those who consider it factual.

yes it is

fer sure

04/09/2016 3:11am

Are you up?

What did you have in mind

I wondered if you would be near austin today.

Is anything going on today sweetheart

Just an afternoon party by the pool with a Brazilian band...

Oh wow that sounds good, are you going?

I think it's 2 or 3pmish... It's happening where I live.

That sounds good, I would like to come so we could hang out

I thought i should be more friendlier. it's not my party, but i should help keep an eye on things so the place doesn't burn down, or something. I haven't gone ANYWHERE lately, anyway.I haven't personally invited anyone else; but I think my friend invited a few of my family members... don't know if they will show up. I didn't talk to them about it.

Oops; I meant more friendly.

I understand, are you doing ok this evening?

Sure; except for reading heavy political stuff. I have been doing chores [yesterday] & ought to sleep. I fell down & bruised my knee in one spot & skinned it in another. I felt no immediate pain in my knee... my knees are very strong. It hurt my arm for a few minutes & covered my hair with coffee... smashed the cup into a number of pieces. I was groaning pretty loud. LOL

Oh sweetheart be careful, I care to much about you


I would love to see you

How far away are you?

About an hour

That's cool. 7505 Islander Dr..

Thank you sweetheart

Do you have your guitar?

Too bad my arm is still not completely well. I play a mean game of table tennis. I held a table in a busy sports bar on fight night [famous boxing match] for 4 hours once... on 6 inch heels. I went to the other side of the club [the dance floor], changed into flat boots... started dancing; both feet cramped I fell on my butt.

04/09/2016 12:58pm

I guess the party starts at 3 & music 4~6; ending at 7. That's the last I heard, anyway.

04/22/2016 2:57am

How are you Barbara?

Hoping all is well with you and your doing just great

Well, I just gained a year. I actually thought I am 58 for I don't recall how long. My cousin just informed me I haven't quite turned 58 yet. That was startling.

your still young and beautiful sweetheart

You know you're getting old when you forget how young you are... just goes to show ya.

yes I understand:)

I'm a big fan of Prince. It's hard not to cry.

Yes my son as well

I don't like all of his music...

same here, his girlfriend Apollonia is a witness of mine in a case i still have pending in LA. She was planing for Robby my son to meet him which was a dream for him, today he called me and I was really done


I like Appollonia a lot... the one in Purple Rain? I saw that about 15 times.


very sad

I haven't come to Austin yet, I hope I can see you when I come

I was worried that you might have come early to the party; about when my friends had moved their vehicles to the alley to make room for guests. I would have been in the bathroom.

It would have looked deserted at 2pm.

thats ok sweetheart, I'll stop and get us some herb tea to bring to you

I want some kanna / sceletium. I have not tried it.

than I shall get you some before coming over

Graviola leaf is supposed to be excellent. The fruit pulp is my favorite summer drink.

Fuanabana / soursop

guanabana, I mean.

Consider it done

Typing in the dark.

it's ok

I'm more than ready to make confectionery. Not only have I the finest honed selection... I also have the best sense of taste & smell of anyone I've ever known. I don't just have good taste.

you will have to show me

I should take a taste test / smell test to find out how it compares to others with the keen sense[s].

yes you should sweetheart

I like honeysuckle nectar.

me too

I want to use honeysuckle berries called honeyberry. [Not all honeysuckle berries are nontoxic]

you have a lot of knowledge about this sort of think, what is good for cancer?

Honeyberry is called haskap. They look like elongated blueberries. Graviola leaf is great for cancer diets. I'll show you a page with more. It's not updated, but has a lot on it.

It's on my wall now. Broccoli sprouts & sprout powder is great.

There are so many cancer fighting foods & specialty supplements.

My ex wife and mother of my three beautiful children relies on me a great deal of the time, she is with regard to this issue, it is so sad and i'm going back home Wed to take care of her, the children don't know yet. She wants to live long enough to see our daughter married. I try not to let this adversely effect me but i'm not sleeping or eating so well, it is like I'm reliving her leaving with the children a number of years ago

I know most all of them & have learned a bit about diabetic foods, as well.

She has cancer?

She was in remission but it has moved to her liver

She's in another state?

no, here in Spring

I always practiced and lived with Vicky and the children in Norman, Okla

I closed my practice when she advised me she had cancer

She had chemo & radiation?

yes, everything

When did the cancer start? The best radiation therapy is tech made by UT.

What about your Bar exam? Did you take it?

no, not until July

UT has laser precision rad therapy that is safer than other types.

when it's in the liver it's another story

Yeah; I kind of was just thinking that.

I don't know how to share this with the children

How open is she to natural treatment? What? Share what? Don't they know about it?

no she did not want to tell them yet

They think she's in remission? How old are they?

I forgot.


she had been in remission for a long time

What stage is it?

I did not ask her, however she previously had stage iv bone cancer, I think with the liver and pancreas it is not so much a matter of the stage

Is she overweight?


When did remission change?

she was literally the most beautiful woman in Oklahoma University Law School


Do you want my help to try & save her?

yes of course

How long was the remission ^ when did it first start?

it started with breast cancer

I mean when was the cancer first detected?

thats when i moved down her 15 years ago

it has metastasized

I understand.

it has been a long and hard road

for a number of reasons, I had previously lost Vicky and the children when she left and moved to Spring

Is she undergoing chemo now?

then moving down and helping her and the children


she is not going too and they have not suggested it

my sweetheart, I need to lay down, I feel so tired. You are an angel to me and I love you dearly. May I talk with you more about this tomorrow?

How can we get CBD oil? It's only federally legal. Texas is delayed in that. If a prescription for ot can be obtained... it's time to get that.

Sure; that's fine.

04/25/2016 2:48am

Supplementation studies also reveal vitamin K’s powerful effect on the most common kind of liver cancer, called hepatocellular carcinoma. This cancer is almost always associated with alcoholism or hepatitis B or C infection.51 Although surgical or radiation treatment can destroy the primary tumor, recurrence is common and typically determines the long-term prognosis.52,53 Several human studies show that vitamin K2 supplementation can dramatically reduce the recurrence rate in hepatocellular carcinoma and may impact the survival rate as well. As with most nutrients, vitamin K is not the single answer to cancer prevention, but it shows tremendous promise, which highlights the importance of maintaining adequate levels through boosting your intake. A large European study showed that cancer death was 28% less likely overall in those with the highest versus lowest intakes of vitamin K2.

Thank you my precious sweetheart

Vicky doesn't drink and has never had any infectious diseases, she had a form of breast cancer that has metasticized in different parts of her body including the liver. She previously had bone cancer

You're welcome. I may look distracted; but going to sleep after watching the news & waking up to my ex calling; I had to dive into deep history for It helps me to refocus. 2 of my kids & also my grandson have been here for a couple of days. I slept on a hard mat, sporadically. It makes it uncomfy for my arm, but might be good for it.

I'm not suggesting what led to it being in the liver. I know that was metastasized there. Regardless, you can read the link I got this from, which I just posted.

Yes thank you very much sweetheart, I am so appreciative

I am looking now for the most appropriate natural form of K2 [& K1].

yes potasium is always healthy

especially in a viable food source

Magnesium is critical & hard to absorb & utilize from many sources. Magnesium oil; mixed with a carrier oil to take the sting / prickly sensation out is indicated for putting on the skin. A lavender / herb epsom salt soak will also deliver mag... Another source is Calms Forte'... it's like drinking Alka~Seltzer, though... hot & fizzy when prepared.

ok thank you, sounds good

Have you looked into CBD / CBA? Ir's from hemp & with thc levels at below .03 or .05... something like that; it has no activity like getting high.

Our state governor still has it blocked, maybe. BUT, I think a prescription might be obtainable.

no I haven't but I know she has smoked mari at times while she had bone cancer

He has allowed cancer & epilepsy patients even thc~containing meds. You wouldn't want to use synthetics.

Smoking is not the same for treatment.

she did it for nausea

I'm not saying it isn't helpful, in multiple ways... But, the critical treatment I'm talking about must be consumed a different way.

yes I've read about hemp being a useful for medicinal purposes when prepared a special way

There is a treatment which may be hard to get in this country, & I don't publish the product links. i have posted studies on it, if I can recall the letters... maybe GBh? I'll look it up. Yeas; it is incredibly helpful!

there is a lot of viable treatments not available in the US

Nope; it's not gbh.

even Ayuasca in the Pervian Jungles with Shaman are effective

Yes; that's true; but many great treatments are.

I wasn't speaking of Ayahuasca. It is not an ingredient I research.

I don't research much anything I don't find nontoxic for all populations.

It's hard to get too, I worked in Peru, however there are many that find recover and restoration in this practice, I just don't think I could get Vicky to go with me that far

I'm trying to recall the name of a comprehensive probiotic... She doesn't need that in particular.

she went to mexico for a couple of weeks and studied the Garrison technique that is drinking the greatest sources of greens, antixidents and she began to feel much better

Sounds good. But, a too generalized approach may not be enough. Wheatgrass juice implanting with a bulb syringe, about an ounce or maybe start with a half oz. [anal implantation administered by her in a bathtub, then raise the lower body up with feet down & upper body lying on back] Hold in as long as comfortable doing so. I had an orgasm when the juice activated my vagus nerve. That, I think is connected with the liver & sends out immune factors all over. [not kidding]

there really isn't anything to be offered that is a hundred percent effective with this type of cancer, of course seeking and searching is empowering because the more you understand the liver, it's function and the exact nature of the problem it narrows your search so she can effectively seek in the most viable areas. Although I can read about various and a sundry practices and procedures I find it most helpful to research in total quiet where there are no distractions. A good medical school library is effective because there are all of the unpublished reports and so many who have been before me in their search for restoration. The liver although regenerative is also delicate

wish I could have seen that:)

Gradiently increase up to maybe 2 ounces. Administer as much as once daily. Drinking the juice is good, too... but NOT at the same time... will make one feel too 'green' & can cause cleansing reaction.

yes I don't like that feeling, it is like I have the flu

A food~grade H2O2 can be helpful; but one has to find it, properly dilute it, & know dosage gradients well. I have used that to cure a severe kidney infection in a day & a half. I thought it was a pulled muscle & let it get severe enough to pass out. I was a dancer...

I have the same pain sweetheart, I want to think it is a pulled muscle but it is in my back on the right side where the kidney is

If you could get the australian bush plant that passes through the prehistoric looking big bird, it might do wonders. Oxygen supplements are also available at Global Healing Center near Houston. Dr. Edward Group II knows his stuff.

Dr. Group III, I mean. He's a third generation doctor.

He makes some supplements, & also sells some others.

I love you sweetheart, trying so hard to help me, I wish I could put my arms around you

Get someone else to do the research. There's not enough time for that. I've done enough of it already. I know loads of substances. She can't just take a bunch of pills & capsules. Forms & administration must be done in a scientific manner, even taking trophology into the equation... [science of food combing]


not combing

Yes I agree, I'm always careful and methodical, sometimes different approaches can have contraindiations, I'm always able to look at the molecular structure of various substances and automatically know how the body will process it. I do this sort of thing these days for Noetic Sciences but I'm not an expert at all on cancer

I found a decent source for mats utilizing far infrared & negative ion emitting natural substances fused [at about 1600 degrees] It penetrates the body 5, 7, or more inches. I think it should be used.

I only select those ones which may be safely combined.

& remain effective.

The one good thing about Houston is they do have the Photon Center which is the least evasive way of treating liver cancer and is the only location in the world where we have the best and most experienced physicians treat the liver

That's good.

I won't delve into airy fairy treatments. [not my specialty.] I'm not reeferring to photon tratment, as such.

However, as you know it would make no difference if I was the world leading authority on liver cancer, when you've been married to someone it automatically undermines my ability to effectuate a change of mind or encourgement to go in this or that direction, she is very stubborn


How stubborn? I have an easy clinical approach.

MD Anderson has a billion dollar photon research facility, they have learned to go into the liver and kill only the cancer without effecting the outside tissue

Very cool... but her diet should also be scientific.

yes and I have taken her to the best medical facility in the country for nutrition and diets for her sort of cancer

she quasi cooperates

I may not know all that they know... but I'm sure they also don't know all that I know.

I study ingredients worldwide.

Will she eat broccoli sprouts? I'm sure they can be found in Houston, already sprouted.

I don't know


They could be juiced or pulverized.

The powder is also avail...


graviola tea or powder mixed in with guanabana juice [the leaves are called graviola.

I took her to New York to the Integrative Nutritional Center where they work with cancer patients, they do bring in ingredients from around the world from the Himalayas to the deepest part of the Amazon and in the Jungles of Africa. This approach to cancer has proven to be effective but nothing is a 100%

How about we make some candy bars ice cream, then? Bet she'd go for that.

I can promise that I would go for it:)

Have rhey given her these things?

Let's make confectionery, then. I can do it quickly, given the ingredients.

Oh Gosh Barbara, yes, but not so much. They wanted her to go ahead and make the trip to Mexico where she would learn a lot about nutrition and viable fruits and vegetables, afterwards they started her on a regime of things I've not heard of. She had stage iv bone cancer but survive


ok, deal

let me be your taster

that is what i do best

I'm the ultimate taster; but of course.

I should come see you before I head back to Spring

Can you help me pick up my Colorpoint commercial freezer? [also can be a refigerator]


It is easy to push around for me; but took 2 women & 2 men to push it up a ramp into a moving van.

OK sweetheart, anything for you

I need my products, too I must get healthier.

both of us sweetheart, we will have to help each other

Everyone needs them, actually.

hugs and kisses?

If you have basics for making a video; with that & experts & children sampling prototypes [on video] crowdfunding could be a success. Rhwn, my infant formula could be manufactured, as well. I've already found the manufacturer I want for it. All I need [maybe] is a doctor to order it. [I had a doctor on FB say he would.

If you have the self~control you claim ro have... LOL

Then, my.. I meant.

to have

I have always had self control as i have been required to always comport my behavior to what is reasonable. I'm harmless sweetheart.

Alrighty, then.

[to quote Jim Carrey]

yes the exact quote

Humor; ORK!

I'm really not a womanizer and if you knew the lack of intimacy I have had in my life the last 15 years you would start laughing and not believe

I wouldn't laugh.

Disbelief of the truth is as stupid as belief of lies.

the belief in lies comes much easier for most

Stupider than that, actually.

I'm a pretty docile guy, usually I'm always humorous and generate a lot of laughs. It gives life a sort of magical component

It does. I'm only funny when at ease.

I don't laugh at unfunny jokes.

I used to fall out from fits of laughter, with my sister.

I will make you laugh, promise

I told her about you. She said you are good~looking.

Both my sisters were divorced recently.

really, are they as pretty as you?

Hang on... I'll show you.


This is the youngest. I made this photo.


I made this one, too.

your sisters are beautiful

That's the same sister. hang on...

I made this photo.

This one is 2 years younger than me; to the week.

she is very pretty as well

I don't know when this was taken...

wow, so pretty

She's the one that said you are quite a good~looking man... or guy. I don't recall the last word exactly.

I'm really pleased she thinks that, since I know you it is infinitely much easier to meet your sister or sisters because I like and trust in you so much

The youngest one was 1st runner up in Miss South Texas teen pageant.

They are super cool. The older one is a vegan.

I believe it, all three of you are very pretty


do they live in austin?

So is her son who moved to Austin recently.

thats really great sweetheart, you will have to tell me the best day for me to visit

The younger one lives with her ex~husband & 2 sons in Leander. This one is in Kerrville trying to decide where to move; Austin or Huntsville near my father.

wow sweetheart, that is amazing

Her 2 boys are grown.

My mom died of cancer in December of '98.

I see

yes good photo, thank you for sharing

I don't know who cut my grandmother from the photo. I have it in a folder, though.

I know she must have been a precious woman

She was a saint, pretty near.

yes I see that

you are too

My father

beautiful photo

That's me with a gold K.

you look like an earthly angel

I try.

I would love to meet your sisters sweetheart, if they are agreeable and it is ok with you

My brother. I made the photo.


I have a couple of 5 generation pictures with my daughter & great grandma included.

sweetheart, my loving princess, I must go to bed, I adore you so much. We will get you all set up, let me rest and we will talk later today

Ok. Dream well.

04/25/2016 6:43am

Fight cancer with a proprietary blend of graviola, mullaca, guacatonga, espinheira santa, bitter melon, vassourinha, mutamba, and cat’s claw. It's called N~TENSE; but don't know if still available.

not that sounds like a viable plan

Raintree N-TENSE Capsules (Graviola Plus 7 Rainforest Herbal Plants)

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It is formulated by Leslie Taylor, with the help of some rainforest shamen. She cured her own leukemia.

Raintree's Tropical Plant Database

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She is the author of the book, Herbal Secrets of the Rainforest, published September 1998 and The Healing Power of Rainforest Herbs, published in March 2005. Ms Taylor is also the author of the Raintree website and the extensive online Tropical Plant Database.

Liver cancer may succumb to compound in Chinese herbal medicine

Berbamine, a natural product in a traditional Chinese medicine, kills liver cancer cells, reports City of Hope researcher.

Spirulina platensis (SP is a filamentous cyanobacterium microalgae with potent dietary phyto-antioxidant, anti-inflammatory and anti-cancerous properties. The present study aimed to investigate the chemopreventive effect of SP against rat liver toxicity and carcinogenesis induced by dibutyl nitrosamine (DBN precursors, and further characterized its underlying mechanisms of action in HepG2 cell line. Investigation by light and electron microscopy showed that DBN treatment induced severe liver injury and histopathological abnormalities, which were prevented by SP supplementation. The incidence of liver tumors was significantly reduced from 80 to 20% by SP. Immunohistochemical results indicated that both PCNA and p53 were highly expressed in the liver of DBN-treated rats, but were significantly reduced by SP supplementation. Molecular analysis indicated that SP treatment inhibited cell proliferation, which was accompanied by increased p21 and decreased Rb expression levels at 48hrs post-treatment. In addition, SP increased Bax and decreased Bcl-2 expression, indicating induction of apoptosis by 48hrs.

BERBERINE: Berberine is a quaternary ammonium salt from the protoberberine group of isoquinoline alkaloids. It is found in Oregon grape, Tree turmeric, Barberry, Goldenseal and others. Its use in ancient times is found both in traditional Chinese medicines and Ayurveda.

I love and appreciate you so much

There is, at least, 10 times more sulforaphane in broccoli sprouts as in broccoli.

Scroll down a bit to reach cancer fighters...

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Berberine is a natural alkaloid found in a wide variety of traditional herbs and plants including Hydrastis Canadensis (goldenseal), Berberis vulgaris (barberry), Berberis aquifolium (Oregon grape),Berberis aristata (tree turmeric), and Coptis chinensis (goldthread). Our Berberine is naturally ex...

Plants Against Liver Cancer | Herb News

Plants Against Liver Cancer By Rob McCaleb on October 11, 2011 in All, Herbs, Natural Healthcare, Science, Top Stories Researchers at Northeastern Ohio Universities Colleges of Medicine and Pharmacy look at liver cancer and the remedies, natural and synthetic, that can prevent and treat it. The abst…

Liver Cancer and Bile Duct Cancer - Cancer Tutor

What are some of the best methods to treat or cure Liver & Bile Duct Cancer?

Intravenous DMSO & vitamin C is powerful. [not ascorbic acid, but real vit. C; s.a. camu camu berry, amla berry, or acerola cherry... I know someone, personally, who worked for a clinic which administered this. He can answer any questions, I'm sure.

This is the Budwig recipe for precursor to the same constituent in bitter almond or apricot pits. The isolated stuff is actually on Amazon, by the way. I don't wish to name it, since it is controversial in some circles.

#BudwigDiet - Budwig Diet Protocol For Cancer - Dr Axe

The Budwig Diet and Budwig Protocol has been proven to be effective at fighting cancer, improving diabetes and supporting heart health.


A collection of various alternative therapies Aloe Arborescens Bill Henderson’s Budwig Protocol Bob Beck Protocol Budwig Protocol Cancer Salves Cannabis Oil and Medical Marijuana Cellect Supp…

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The Natural Allopathic Protocol is powerful and at the same time extraordinarily safe because nutritional medicines, not pharmaceuticals, are employed.

Compendium Surviving Cancer - Dr. Sircus

Compendium Surviving Cancer This ebook will offer you and your family most of the information you will need to make informed choices about cancer care. Get your copy now! About this Cancer Compendium This 2,500 page cancer compendium will offer you and your family most of the information you will ne…

I found Dr. Sircus when studying Ebola. I was impressed by his protocol for treating it.

Specific cellular components in lactic acid bacteria seem to induce strong adjuvant effects including modulation of cell-mediated immune responses, activation of the reticulo-endothelial system, augmentation of cytokine pathways, and regulation of interleukins and tumor necrosis factors. Studies on the effect of probiotic consumption on cancer appear promising, since recent in vitro and in vivo studies have indicated that probiotic bacteria might reduce the risk, incidence and number of tumors of the colon, liver and bladder. The protective effect against cancer development may be ascribed to binding of mutagens by intestinal bacteria, may suppress the growth of bacteria that convert procarcinogens into carcinogens, thereby reducing the amount of carcinogens in the intestine, reduction of the enzymes beta-glucuronidase and beta-glucosidase and deconjugation of bile acids, or merely by enhancing the immune system of the host. There are isolated reports citing that administration of LAB results in increased activity of anti-oxidative enzymes or by modulating circulatory oxidative stress that protects cells against carcinogen-induced damage. These include glutathione-S-transferase, glutathione, glutathione reductase, glutathione peroxidase, superoxide dismutase and catalase.

05/08/2016 1:29am

Wishing you a Happy Mother's Day my dearest Wendy and God's Infinite Peace!!

05/08/2016 11:20am

This isn't Wendy. You might want to resend the message.

05/08/2016 2:19pm

Brolico: It's possible that this is the same active component of the broccoli sprout. I haven't compared them. See the post on my wall. Tumor marker (CEA) of liver cancer patient decreases remarkably (25 to 5) (in combination with antibiotic) I would think Phytocillin would be better used in place of other antibiotic. It is quite a potent formula. This info is from direct experience with it clearing tooth abscess [with facial & neck swelling] very fast. It worked each time. [before having broken tooth removed]

thank you my sweetheart, you are an angel

05/11/2016 12:05am

Happy Birthday My Precious Sweetheart!!! Love you!

Thank you! I have been with my sisters for 2 days. It was fun.

05/20/2016 3:47am

I'm sorry i've been off the radar, but I've missed you

I thought of you today.

I'm glad to hear that, I think of you as well sweetheart

How is your ex doing?

she is doing really well at this time, she is going to walk the appalachian trial with my youngest son

she is a real fighter

Wow; that's great. have you been able to get her on any of the foods / supplements suggested?

not yet because she is not finished teaching until tomorrow

Is there time before she hits the trail?

yes she came by today and i told her I wanted to discuss with her some ideas

Oh, good. It is needed. Ah, you have new photos; cool. I have a few if my sisters will get around to posting them. We spent last weekend together. They put a natural dye in my hair, which was getting 35 or 40% silver.

I wish I was there with you, and you would let me put my arms around you, then I would sleep on your shoulder sweetheart

your beautiful

Sweet. Thank you. I got a couple of 'new' dresses at the thrift store... very pretty. I wore one when my son, & his girlfriend, took me out to the karaoke bar on my birthday. I actually sang... every time he would jam the microphone into my hand. LOL

I would have had a blast if I would have been along with you, that sounds like a great time sweetheart and I know you must have been a knockout in your new dress

He gave me a gorgeous rhinestone necklace that day. [& I had cleavage] I gave him some stylin' long shorts, sunglasses, a flashlight. His birthday was on the 2cd.

my sweetheart, your so beautiful and I would love to put a necklace on you

and give you a soft romantic kiss with my hand softly on the side of your face

I couldn't get the earrings into my pierced ears because they closed up. Funny... I had hoped that they would... but strange, since they were done by a doctor when I was 7. You're so romantic; which seems rare in this era.

I've always loved the magic and emotions of romance although it almost destroyed me

I've been getting out more. I went for gourmet ice cream & espresso with a FB friend who is 46. That was cool. Then he took me to dinner & a movie. When he tried to put the make on me I froze up icily. He sent a message saying 'I'm sorry. Did I scare you away?' I didn't even answer the question, but made some noncommittal remark about being busy with my family. [so much for that]

He was cute, intellectual, & successful. Goody for him. That may sound rude, but whatever.

I was thinking about trying to have an 'ice cream' launch at the Democratic Convention... red, white, & blue [naturally].

That's late July. I found out last night that my youngest grandchild, who I raised, Is getting given back to the control of the state by her father & his girlfriend, who has a new baby. I'm trying to figure out how I can swing adopting her. She's 6 years old & just like a grownup with me. I miss her so much. All her dad wants to do is go to work & play video games. He was never really into having her around. But, I am.

05/20/2016 5:42am

no sweetheart, you could never run me off, one of the students was still awake and ask me to read a couple of legal cases and explain to him, he is struggling a bit with latin phrases as well

I love talking to you and you can talk about anything you want sweetheart

oh, I see, you were talking about the guy


I just wrote some nonsensical verse; a touch alchemical. I will post it.

usually if a woman freezes up it is because she isn't ready for that sort of thing, there is always time for that but best to culminate a friendship

I felt a bit shortchanged in friendship at that point.

making out is ok too, it just depends on your mood

but if your not in the mood he should intuitively know that

us guys are so anxious:)

I would prefer that you were my friend then angry with me for trying

to be intimate

which I've not done in years

Up to that time, it was fun enough. Then I sort of felt he was merely an irreverent doll collector.

Fortunately i have always had beautiful women that were attracted to me, at least my friends are always making comments about how many women seem to care about me. I think the later is true, I think they care about me but I think my self esteem is so low that I don't pay any attention to messages or comments from women. My thought is they want something or if I became involved it would be nothing but high maintenance, I just don't know so I keep an arms length. I live such a simplistic life and have allowed myself to isolate, I'm not an unattractive person but see my involvement as potential heartache. I have not had intimacy in many years, I do have the normal urges and thoughts as any other man, probably my need to isolate is greater than my need for intimacy, I suppose, I just don't know. I like and care about you a lot, I can't explain that to you or verbalize, i have no idea, you seem like a more real person without judgement, you don't ask me why this or that, you just accept me as your friend

Analysis happens through the subconscious, in an instant. Anything further is overbearing.


You have a good mind and are far ahead of the curve

I learned the concept through seizing the moment. Intention upon picking up some late night partier's beer bottle & chunking it at a barrel with intent makes a hole~in~one. If I paused to get the specs right, it simply wouldn;t make it.

I wish I could hold you in my arms, put my hand softly on the side of your face and give you a soft and romantic kiss. Nothing more, just that. There is something healing about this sort of love, it is easy to feel romantic and loving towards you. I feel fortunate that you are a part of my life

Did you read what I just wrote? I don't know if it makes much sense. Somebody asked my interpretation of a proundly ambiguous piece of John Dee.


yes I did sweetheart, yes, intent, but an intention that represents goodness, honesty and sweetheart.

I mean what I posted on my timeline.

05/28/2016 4:12am

My sweetheart I wish you were here or me there

My friend is having another yard party with the same Brazilian music. You are welcome to come. I'm pretty sure it is on the 6th.

05/28/2016 5:59am

only if you promise me a kiss:)

Yes, privately; for my friends could become jealous.

yes a private kiss sweetheart

06/04/2016 12:53pm

The party is on the 5th. I think I said the 6th. I was wrong. You're welcome to come by.

I would love too sweetheart, thank you for inviting me

7505 Islander Dr

Ok thank you so much, what time?

Good question. I had to ask. 3pm

thank you so much

06/06/2016 2:07pm

I love you my little sweetheart

06/17/2016 10:10pm

I miss you Barbara, always life has stuff that distracts us, but I often think of you

Hi; it's been weird times in the field of politics. Around here, it's about the same. I am worried about 2 of my 4 grandchildren. 2 out of 3 which were taken by the state were placed with their fathers. 1 of them is fine & is at summer camp. The youngest was given back to the state by her father because she wouldn't stop screaming to be with her sisters. They didn't put her back in the temporary foster home with her biggest sister, but in a new one we know nothing about. My daughter has been clean from weed since they took the kids. [so have I] That was the last 2 or 3 days of April, last year. She has jumped through their hoops, paying thousands of dollars in child support, maintaining a 3 bedroom apartment for nearly a year, working 80 hours per week oftentimes, going to all visits & court dates, complying with paperwork & classes, & so forth. They've done a number of home visits. I know it was childproof & clean because I helped make it that way several times. I volunteered, for a few months, at one time. I helped her with one of the jobs for over a month working 12 hours a day for no pay. Now, she can't afford to stay in the apt because they raised the rent several hundred dollars after her 6 month lease. She's commuting from San Marcos to Austin daily. She wore out her truck working for Lyfft & Uber & had to replace the entire engine. I don't know why they keep extending the court case another 2 months, & another, & another... Sorry; had to cry on someone's shoulder. Someone who likely knows how messed up the court system is. My arm is much better now. Every other day I do physical therapy [myself] to work it back into proper location. It doesn't hurt until then. When I broke my foot to save my grandchild 3 years ago, I reset that myself, too. It worked. The foot is all better. I'm still doing my own microsurgery on my finger; but that doesn't hurt anymore. The cactus injury happened 12 years ago! It's lots better. My daughter's female cat that I babysit got fleas from her other cat which lives outside... all because the chocolate point apple~faced Siamese gets attacked by the big female tabby if she goes outside alone. But the tabby's calico mother saved me from a wild boar once & nursed her kittens until they were bigger than her. So, I feed her & the ringtail & the crippled raccoon & the deer & birds...

I've been active in a few FB groups.

Mostly Bernie Sanders groups; but also sometimes a sacred geometry group, a couple of royal ancestry ones, & the lineage of jesus one. I do some posting in cancer remedy ones & in general health ones, answering questions & posting products... also telling grandparents raising their grandchildren what to do to remedy illnesses.

well it sounds like the only thing missing from your life is my friendship, to have someone we know and can trust with all of the issues that plague us during a lifetime. Your a good mother and grandmother, your also a good friend to me. I admire you for you involvement in things that keep the neurons growing. You can always count on me to explain and help you with court related questions

I've got all my ingredients sourced & ready to order. I'm holding off, though, wondering if I should wait & get a place where I can get one or two of my grandkids. I don't know how well I can be vetted for that, being I don't show a personal tax history. I have only signed under someone else's tax returns sometimes. I've never filed for a return. I'd probably have to get a job & forego the business awhile. I really want to make some money selling candy bars or ice cream near the convention, but only have saved a thousand dollars... not sure what to do.

well, this is a matter that you need to think through very carefully

Back around '99, I told my friend I used to make perfect grades & thought I was intelligent; but was feeling mentally slow. He said I have to exercise my brain to keep it fit. So, I've been doing that ever since then. It works. I had simply been too busy raising my kids & being a dancer. I don't study enough of the subjects I like this year because i have to study politics to help my country.

sometimes we have to take a step back and just take a deep breath

part of balancing our lives so we can be of great value is taking care of ourselves first. Sometimes we have to act partially on the intellect and not allow our emotions to guide us in different directions. That is a way to end up nowhere quickly, I have been guilty of this as well. When I learned to implement self parenting and taking care of myself better it seemed the life became a little easier. First and foremost put everything aside for a moment and think about what it is that you want and how your going to get there. But even before that step of asking what we want we have to look at our lives and make sure it is balanced. For example, exercise to keep the body in shape, or perhaps yoga, meditation to keep our minds even. Perhaps to work to in order to achieve some measure of financial security. Our health is important, our financial state is important, our mental health is a must, nutrition, the right type of friends to we want to emulate that inspire us to exercise our psychosocial needs. This is just some of the balance we have to achieve in order to be the most effective and achieve some measure of peace and serenity

I don't have friends anymore, in person. [except the 2 that I live with; but they live upstairs & only come down to eat or work on the yard & garden.] I meditate the most when I'm waking up. It's the best time for me. I love the waking visions that remind me that my brain is capable of calculating far beyond my conscious mind. I will start exercising more than chores now that my arm doesn't keep me in constant pain.

06/18/2016 12:26am

Yes sweetheart it is very difficult to exercise with the arms situation. I'm glad it is getting a little better and i hope it heals completely. I talk as if I do all of those things on a regular basis but there are times that I don't, I have quit exercising before and all the things that make me healthy. It has only been recently that I have started a healthy routine, the difference is enormous sweetheart. You a very loving and compassionate woman who cares and loves others, I know that from the way that you treat me. In my books you are the best sweetheart

Thank you. I'll be doing some work in now. There are lawsuits happening to prove, before the Dem National convention, that Senator Sanders won in the primaries. He is NOT conceding! Yes; I care about everyone.

It's a new social network.

Thank you for advising me of this sweetheart. I'm always glad to hear from you and look forward to meeting you when it is a convenient time. I'm sorry I could not come to the party but I will explain a little later. You are so precious and I can't help but to feel close to you. I don't get close to people as I once did, sometimes I don't answer my phone or return messages or emails, I'm not sure why but sometimes I just don't feel like talking. For some reason i keep people an arms length from me, I'm not sure if that is good or bad but it allows me to live a life of simplicity. With regard to the court dates being moved so much this can be frustrating, unless there is something to accomplish court dates should not be continued. When I was a judge I would not allow court dates to be moved without a showing of some reason why I should, with regard to social service cases they should not be protracted either as there are too many lives that are in the balance. We can talk about that when you want. Love Bobby

I've never had a cellular telephone, as of yet. I wouldn't want to be bothered with calls. I understand. It's alright that you didn't come to the party. It doesn't matter to me. I would like to sing along with your guitar sometime soon.

11/28/2016 2:24pm

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I paid for all of my daughters wedding then was not invited

I'm sorry. Were you led to believe otherwise?

yes by being so kind and loving while I was paying for all

That's so sad.

I'm going to write a book about what has transpired but in an even minded and fair manner

Of course... who could learn from it, otherwise?

exactly, it has aged me 20 years

No way; how's that possible?

just a pattern of this sort of behavior that makes all of what occurred cumulative and so discouraging

I thought of you when I peed blood a few times. It's better now. Yesterday morning it was very light. I'm disconcerted otherwise. Some of the news has got me scared. I've gained 10 pounds & that's good. My spider bite lesions are still healing, but I'm not worried about losing my lower leg now.

I keep having to check my food on the stove & help my son's girlfriend look for his phone in the garage. That's why not so attentive... sorry.

I am moving out. I'm not sure where, but, I only have 1 or 2 options. I'm compacting my things right now.

11/28/2016 9:41pm

What are you options dear Barbara, I'm so sorry your having the difficulty where you live, it could be causing you stress and making you susceptible to a bladder infection or something along those lines. If it is bright red then it most likely is not your kidneys however you need to get it checked out dear Barbara. Please let me know. Love Bobby

11/29/2016 12:39am

My only options right now are my daughter, her boyfriend, & her housemate in a 2 bedroom. But, I haven't asked. It's her roomie's place. The other is my ex from years ago has a small 2~bedroom house in Waco. I have old old friends in Corpus Christi. My sisters are busy adjusting to single life & one's in Huntsville. The other has her hands full with 2 teen / preteen sons & a boyfriend. She's about 30 miles outside of Austin. I keep begging them to adopt my granddaughter away from temporary foster care, at least temporarily. I don't know why they won't; but I suppose that excludes me. I wonder if I could find a mobile home on a small piece of land... just taking over payments. I'd probably have to get a cosigner. Heck; my normal daughter & her son could live with me, then. She's on again, off again with her boyfriend [at his mom's rustic house.] All 3 of my grown kids are working. I'm beginning to feel inadequate. I worry about my 7 year old grandchild more & more with all the news leaking out about crime rings. There's another court hearing in December... unless they push it back again. I haven't seen her recently. I only know the older one that has been placed with her father is alright. Then the oldest seems fine in foster care... but, it's hearsay [heresy?] I haven't seen her in almost 2 years. I was able to go with their mom to see the other one for a time; but, they cut off contact. She's paid them a fortune, too; working long hours. She passed all their many drug tests, also. I don't know what's going on. I haven't smoked even a drag of weed for close to 2 years, myself. I haven't had even one alcoholic drink, either. I like coffee, though.

I just wrote you a very long message; pushed enter... & it all disappeared. In a sentence; either my daughter, her boyfriend, & her housemate in a 2 bedroom or my ex from years ago; in Waco.

I restarted the laptop & now I see my message.

Tue 11:07am

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you experience the love that permeates our collective hearts and brings inspiration and healing, you are so important and I'm sending you love. Bobby

Yes, thank you. I have that love & inspiration. I also have a broken heart. The only thing that will fix that is having my grandchildren back. Everything else pales, in comparison. I do dream of them; but, it doesn't solve the problem of worry or, possibly, their suffering. I am focused on politics & spiritual matters. Today my grown son is sick, on the couch. I'm taking care of him. I'm glad that you are still feeling loving. Happy Valentine's Day to you.

God's Loving Peace Barbara